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The Mental Strategy Meeting That Begins a Day With Fibromyalgia

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At-ten-tion! Time for the daily battle strategy meeting! As always, we must attempt to best spread our units of energy to hold firm against our enemies: Chronic Pain and its cowardly ally, Fatigue!

First mission: energy troops will be sent to the battle of Getting Dressed. We must employ a careful strategy, otherwise we might resort to standing on one leg to put on pants or stockings. Doing so could trigger stabbing pains that linger throughout the day, needlessly draining our resources. So be careful out there!

We are dangerously low on energy troops since yesterday’s big battle of A Nice Day Out. Therefore, our second mission of the day is trying not to have a second mission! It has been designated: Mission No Second Mission. Tomorrow will be another D-Day. Or more accurately, a GUECHL-Day: Getting Up Early, Coming Home Late Day. Early waking on top of chronic sleeping problems will cause even greater fatigue, which for us means nausea and vomiting.

7 a.m. is the latest the Wake Up is technically allowed, however! Heavy brain fog and mental fatigue caused by pain mean driving a car is out of the question — public transport has to be used. Plan for extra travel time in case of puking delays before reaching the bus or train. We must also take earlier public transport than is strictly necessary, in case we are removed. Being under 30 years of age and nauseous is often perceived as being drunk or drugged up. Leave time to get on the next bus if we’re kicked off the first one for being sick. In short, while the Wake Up could happen at 7 a.m., it needs to happen at 5:50 a.m. instead.

Mission No Second Mission will be critical, but we will suffer losses to advancements of the Daily Battlefronts! Expect losses at the front of Someone Needs To Make Dinner And Your Loved One Has Already Done So Much. We also expect attacks from the I’m Compelled To Exercise Because I’m Terrified To Lose Progress Gained Over Months Of Physical Therapy front. We’re still looking to rename that last battlefront for ease of strategy meetings…

Lastly: the Secret Shame Directives! It has now been several days since the necessary energy troops were available for a push towards The Shower. The supply of wet wipes has, sadly, failed to stop the encroach of another frequent foe: Feeling Subhuman. Emergency energy troops will be made available. Emergency troops are not actually available, but will consist of energy forcibly drafted from tomorrow’s missions — regardless of negative impact on said pre-planned missions.

Energy troops sent to fight off Feeling Subhuman will not be sufficient for a march on The Shower, but enough to clean the most battle-ravaged regions with soap and water. Headgear will be made available to hide the strategic flaw of unwashed hair. To avoid scent contamination of Nice Clothes uniforms, temporary uniforms of Old Clothes are mandatory until further notice. Be wary of surprise attacks from Insecurity and Shame troopers until the next successful conquest of The Shower.

We offer a grateful salute to the cavalry troops sent daily by Loving Partner, without whom this war would be far more taxing.

And as always, we conclude the daily strategy meeting by taking a moment to commemorate all of the Fallen Fronts:

Education — ambushed by the arrival of the primary enemy: Pain.

Career — embattled since the fatal breach of the Education Front.

Friendships — lost because of inability to communicate the countless intricacies of the Chronic Pain War.

Mobility — the first of the Fallen Fronts.

That ends meeting number 247 of 365 for the Fibromyalgia Battle Year of 2016. Dismissed!

Originally published: September 8, 2016
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