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30 Things People With Fibromyalgia *Really* Want for Valentine’s Day

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We teamed up with the National Fibromyalgia Association to pose the following question to our communities: If you have fibromyalgia, what’s one thing you really want for Valentine’s Day? Nearly 1900 answers later, it’s clear the gifts that truly matter often don’t come with a price tag. At the end of the day, what many people wish for is comfort, happiness, support and understanding — but the occasional spa day doesn’t hurt either.

Here are just some of their answers:

1. “I want to be able to wake up just one day without sore joints and feel ready for the day instead of tired and wanting to go back to bed.”

2. “Eight hours of uninterrupted, pain-free sleep.”

3. “A day to enjoy life without having to consider the consequences of each activity. To have a ‘girls’ day’ with my daughter and granddaughters and not have to ‘pay’ for that joy with several days of pain.”

4. “To be held and massaged in a hot bath in the arms of someone who finally understands what I’m going through. Where’s that person?”

5. “Enough energy to shower and take a decent walk with my amazing doggie.”

6. “I want to just be able to live a ‘normal’ life again. Nothing is ever normal in your life again once the fibromyalgia symptoms begin. Those symptoms may vary, but they never end. Oh, and a professional massage please!”

7. “Just one day where everybody was more understanding and empathic.”

8. “I would love to see more doctors getting involved with fibromyalgia.”

9. “Can I have a full day completely pain-free? No meds. No heating pad. No hot showers. No pain patch that leaves me stinking. Just one full day.”

10. “To be totally candid, to be able to make love to my partner without pain, planning and medication — like it was ‘before.’”

11. “A cure for fibromyalgia. That would be a perfect Valentine’s Day gift!”

Text that reads: "A cure for fibromyalgia. That would be a perfect Valentine's Day gift!" with a background of red, pink and white hearts

12. “I would be happy if the people I know and deal with would understand I am trying to be a normal person who puts up a smile despite the pain, who greets every person I meet even [if] I don’t remember the name, who struggles to finish the day even [though] I’m drained by 3 p.m., who stays wide awake at night even [when] my body says I need to sleep and who would like to be a part of every celebration without the fear that I am going to have a flare.”

13. “To have a day where my husband’s hugs don’t hurt. And a night where his leg draped over mine doesn’t cause pain so we can snuggle.”

14. “Someone to help me when I’m in too much pain too care for myself. Run my baths, massage my sore body with balm, get my heating pad ready for me, brush my hair and tell me everything will be OK.”

15. “To have no pain for a whole week would be amazing, and no fog or memory loss!”

16. “I’d love to be able to sit comfortably through an entire movie date this Valentine’s Day.”

17. “A day of unlimited spoons!”

18. “Fuzzy, comfortable PJs and a giant heated teddy bear I can cuddle that will keep me warm.”

19. “I want to dance without sleeping the entire next day.”

20. “A nice, new hot heating pad. That’s a hot date!”

21. “[A] foot, neck and head massage and a cup of tea next to the fireplace while watching a chick flick with my man.”

22. “The end of winter! The cold always makes my fibro worse.”

23. “A day when the temperature is between 65 to 68 degrees with limited humidity, my bed, my favorite PJs, a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon and a parade of my favorite munchies!”

24. “I want people to listen and believe the symptoms of fibromyalgia are real and not look at you like nothing is wrong. We are not making the symptoms up.”

25. “I still want the same thing as everybody else. Chocolate, romance, nice candlelit dinner, flowers. My illness is not my identity.”

The text "I still want the same thing as everybody else. Chocolate, romance, nice candlelit dinner, flowers. My illness is not my identity" on a background of red roses

26. “A maid. My house is an utter mess and it stresses me, causing a flare, causing me to not clean… Y’all know the vicious cycle!”

27. “The perfect realistic gift would be a spa day with a long massage and time to soak in a hot tub.”

28. “A vacation. I have not had one in 20 years. All money that could be used towards one is spent on medical bills, and I’m also terrified of the thought of going and being too sick and in too much pain to enjoy the trip.”

29. “I wish for a day when the medical community understands that fibromyalgia is a real condition, and it is very difficult to live with.”

30. “What I want is to let others know they are not alone. Give a big hug and encourage them to keep on. We will get through this.”

The text "What I want is to let others know they are not alone" on a background featuring wooden planks and a series of hearts

What would you add to this list? Share with us in the comment section below.

Editor’s note: Some answers have been shortened for brevity/clarity.


Fibromyalgia, a chronic illness with three main symptoms — widespread pain, chronic fatigue and cognitive trouble. Fibromyalgia is a complicated illness that’s not well understood. In the past, it was mischaracterized as a mental health disorder. Even today, some doctors wave off fibro symptoms as being “all in your head.” This isn’t the case. Read The Mighty’s comprehensive guide to fibromyalgia here. Click here to join our fibro community and connect with people who get it.

Originally published: February 11, 2016
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