fidgeting

Okay, so, I have a thing. And this thing makes it near impossible for me to stay still. When I watch a TV show or a movie or something, it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to just sit and watch it. I need to get up and pace or I'll do something on my phone or use my Switch or something to keep my fidgeting at bay. I feel like I just constantly have a need to fidget and my hands always seem to shake unless I'm distracted by something else.

There's my random stuttering or I can't read words or numbers correctly, and when I do that, I'll get my boyfriend's or mine school/work schedule mixed up or I'll tell a customer the wrong price (usually lower than the actual price) and then have to correct myself. I'll type or write words and they won't look right, or I'll say a basic word but that doesn't sound right, so I'll try again, but I will have been right the first time. I get left and right confused. It makes me feel so incredibly stupid.

Caffeine helps, despite what some people tell me. Some people say it's a thrown-off sleep schedule between work and school since I work third shift, but it would happen before I started this job and over the summer when school wasn't happening.

I get the worst mood swings. I'll be happy and confident one minute, and then having an anxiety attack under a blanket the next. I can be perfectly fine in the morning but come to the end of the day, everything I do seems wrong and I feel like I've been a burden to everyone I've come into contact with, even those I never spoke a word to.

I try to make fun and witty jokes, but they always seem to flop. I hate the sound of my voice and am convinced that others do too. No matter what I do, I feel like I'm just being annoying and am putting a massive burden onto everyone's shoulders with my presence, regardless as to whether or not I'm actually doing anything with them. 

I don't know what's happening. And if anyone could possibly have any insight into what the hell is happening, please, chime in so I at least have an idea as to what's going on with me.

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #fidgeting #moodswings #Depression

I tend to fidget a lot. I can’t sit or sleep without fidgeting. It’s become too much and I can’t stop. What is wrong with me? #fidgeting #Anxiety