Swing
Flying through the wind
Curling your legs underneath you
Swing
Head tilted back
Laughing because it’s uphill
Swing
Scraping feet against gravel
Trying to slow the up and down
Swing
Feet hitting the ground
But you can’t even rise from the
Swing
---
Depression and mania
Swings in the middle of the night
It’s creative outbursts
Suicide whispers
The dancing in the living room
Naps throughout the day
But when night hits
Once again
The grinning demon
Swings
I haven't posted anything for a long time. I've been struggling with extreme anxiety mixed with depression for more than a decade.
Today I feel like I've hit rock bottom. No meds help, though I've been taking them dilogently for years under medical supervision. In therapy I finally realised that I'm unable to regulate my emotions due to childhood trauma that never even occured to me before but it is spot on. So now I'm in my bed with severe back pain, gastrointestinal issues i complete freeze state. Crying since yesterday, feeling guilty for not being able to overcome my limitations, falling back to old patterns and symptoms. So ashamed. My family deserves better, the guilt is eating me up. I have no idea how I could go to work and be functional tomorrow. Everything is painful. I'm shaking and shivering covered in my bed and don't know how to go on. My mind perfectly understands this situation but the body says no, freezes and shuts down. I'm an emotional wreck.
Sorry for this rant but I need to vent and hear your experiences.
Thx for reading my post.
It amazes me how quick my mood changes. One minute I’m fine and something minor happens and boom. I shut down. My emotions are on fire. I close the curtains and lay in bed. I’m starting a workbook for dbt with my therapist. I pray this helps me. #moodswings #Bpdsucks #ImOverThisShit #MentalHealthTakesNoHolidays
Me: I have BPD and CPTSD
Others: that’s fine.
Others after a dramatic emotion from me: what’s you’re problem!?
Me: you don’t listen! 🙄
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #moodswings #Abuse #Trauma
Yesterday was horrible. I was trapped in my head, seeing only darkness and despair. Today I see clearly again, with clouds, but clearly and without problems. But it can't go on like this forever. Either good or bad. It's so exhausting to have to endure this emotional roller coaster every day.
Black or white. No gray. I hate it.
Is it possible to have a true manic episode with borderline personality disorder or is it just manic tendencies? If so, what are signs and symptoms to look for? Thank you in advance! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #moodswings
I feel no understands what I go through every day just to pretend I’m normal. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I don’t know how to cope
I used to play video games or write or read and now none of those help like they used to.
I don’t know how to survive day to day any more. I tried to end things not long ago. Didn’t work. Anyway. For a while now I’ve known that I’m never not going to be a burden. There just isn’t a world where I’m not in pain and am expected to hide it or downplay it for other peoples comfort. So not worth it. Especially on top of being severely disabled. Anyway just venting. But in so much pain. But planning to live for a bit longer through summer. Just would like to meet someone like me. Haven’t talked to a single person who understands. Don’t think I ever will. Never imagined this much suffering was possible.
#severedepression #Depression #schizoaffective #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #moodswings #CognitiveDisorders #dissociativedisorders #DissociationDisorders #Isolation #Suicide #MentalHealth #Bipolar2Disorder #Pain #AnorexiaNervosa #Disability #CGL #CPTSD #Caregiving #Support #SupportGroups #CheckInWithMe #Psychosis #Schizophrenia #venting #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder
Or your thought swings? I like thought swings too.
Sometimes my mood changes without an obvious reason. There are other times when I follow certain thought process and that's what changes the mood. So, thought swings sounds like a valid term.
When I don't understand myself, I always wonder what others experience. Looking at a similar situation from some distance helps. Also, it's always easier to advice others than to follow your own advices.
That's why I'd like to know your experiences today. Feel free to share them with me.
I wanted to share the trigger of this post and a part of my experience with you. You can read it in the comments (word count would be more than it should if I uploaded here and I accept that someone might not want to read it.)
Have a peaceful day/evening !
#MoodDisorders #moodswings #Undiagnosed #Anxiety #Depression #IntrusiveThoughts #MightyTogether
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