I've lived with a CPTSD diagnosis for 12 years. I spent the first few years not knowing what it meant, not being able or know how to make changes. I ignored/avoided the whole thing, all the while smiling that smile we all have. The 'good girl' smile. The 'im very competent' smile. I ignored my trauma, all the while feeling like it had been a story someone told me once. I ignored my brain yelling at me until I could ignore it no longer.

This year I started anti anxiety medication for the first time and experienced the first stillness in my brain. I'd never had it before and it was amazing but I feel like this little cup of dirt. Seeds have been planted but as we all know.. seedlings take a long time to grow. It can seem too long sometimes.. I know I have to be patient and try not to follow the old pathways but it's so hard sometimes.. #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #AnxietyMedication #everydayisastruggle #fightingmybrain