Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

I've been on the antidepressant Vibryd for at least 3-4 years, no medications would work for my depression. Then my psychiatrist added Abilify to the Vibryd and it just changed how I was doing, It definitely wasn't a cure, but for the first time medication was helpful for me. I have been doing more manageable since she added it. It helped me so I could deal with my depression with coping skills and it wasn't so extreme, but the past 3-4 months my depression became severe again, and my psychiatrist wants to change me to Vraylar and stop the Abilify. I was wondering if anyone had any experiences with this medication. Thank you for any information you might have from your experiences, I really appreciate it. #MightyTogether #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #Suicide

I've been on the antidepressant Vibryd for at least 3-4 years, no medications would work for my depression. Then my psychiatrist added Abilify to the Vibryd and it just changed how I was doing, It definitely wasn't a cure, but for the first time medication was helpful for me. I have been doing more manageable since she added it. It helped me so I could deal with my depression with coping skills and it wasn't so extreme, but the past 3-4 months my depression became severe again, and my psychiatrist wants to change me to Vraylar and stop the Abilify. I was wondering if anyone had any experiences with this medication. Thank you for any information you might have from your experiences, I really appreciate it. #MightyTogether #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #Suicide

This is the hardest time of the year, for many reasons. Mostly because of some traumatic losses and events/abuse that I've gone through and haven't fully healed from, and a long history of resistant depression.
My birthday is in a few days, and one of my best friends had died a few years back, in a car accident, literally on their way to celebrate with me. I blamed myself, never healed from it, and have never been the same. My whole life had changed back then, and not for the better. I ended up losing everything because I couldn't cope, and have literally had to rebuild my life twice since. I guess that says something about my resiliency and strength, but not about my ability to heal, because I had to sweep the pain under the rug and focus on just surviving, and being responsible for other people, before I could slow down and let myself steep in those stages of pain and grief, (because the docs say you need to go through it, in order to start healing.) ...I allowed society to tell me that it was about time to get my act together, dust myself off, be strong for the kids, stop crying about it, just be happy or whatever.
What really gets to me is when the people who are supposed to care about me the most, just don't have a single clue. Even though I tell them that I have a hard time during the holidays and really hate to celebrate my birthday, and they know exactly why- it just doesn't seem to register in their minds, and they insist that I go through all the stupid motions anyway.
Cake, ice cream, gifts, food, hurry up and clean the house to have company when I would just rather not. If I don't, then I have to put up with the silent treatment or another passive aggressive attack from my mother, after being told by her or my sister to simply "just not be depressed."
It's not that I don't appreciate it- I do. Very much. But sometimes, it's a little bit too much.
And, it's just the feeling of not being Heard.
Anyone else ever feel that way?