flightorfightresponse

This year our neighbors have noticed an uptick in fireworks booming all hours of the day and night.
Yesterday we heard and (felt) a boom that shook our house. A neighbor hacked into a gas line that ruptured. My daughter who has a police scanner app confirmed it.
A tragedy that could've been prevented.
I immediately went into flight mode packing our things to be ready to evacuate.
I thought I was being calm and thinking rationally until my husband came home & as I was explaining that we needed to flee. "Why are you just sitting there?!?"
He called a nearby friend to see if they knew anything & if we should leave.
"What if our neighborhood becomes what happened to (San Bruno)!?!?" I was now yelling. Our friend said if so we would've been GONE ... (no warning) just GONE.
I fell into a puddle of tears as I thought my last actions were ....(.) My children (.)
My husband was not home from work. That's when it began.... Time was just GONE....It was awhile later I realized that I had dissociated.

I am afraid of the fireworks to come and the out of control explosions (M-80's) as neighbors will be out celebrating the 4th while we huddle away somewhere in our home... We can't leave our pets, they become stressed beyond words. We can't go anywhere because there's a pandemic that has us sheltering in place. Our son is Autistic and won't wear a mask.
I can't.......put into words my fear right now........ I feel sick. I feel FROZEN. 😫 #PTSD #SensoryOverload #flightorfightresponse #freezeresponse #sympatheticnervoussystem