Why I'm Thanking the Doctors Who Didn't Support Me

I am in the process of healing myself. No, I’m not talking about a cure for my gastroparesis, or eosinophilic esophagitis, or Raynaud’s syndrome, I’m talking about curing myself from inside.

On a recent trip to Mayo Clinic, I discovered that past doctors, endless exams, retelling my story a thousand times, and sometimes getting my hopes up to end crushed again, I was actually thankful to all these doctors who took the time to exam me, hear me out, and study me past assumptions.

I leave the clinic full of spirit, maybe not complete hope, but a renewed energy, and I want to thank those who “didn’t,” because I think this can help not only me, but everyone with a chronic/invisible illness, as we face these those who “didn’t” every day of our lives.

So…

To those who didn’t believe I was really sick, you pushed me to trust myself further and fight for my beliefs.

To those who didn’t look past my appearance and weight, you made me love myself more, no matter how I look.

To those who didn’t think before diagnosing me in their minds, you gave me the courage to keep looking for a my real diagnosis.

To those who didn’t help me when I felt dizzy or sick, you showed me I could hold myself together.

To those who didn’t leave biases and predispositions aside, you helped me find some of the best doctors out there.

To those who didn’t believe I was disabled and in need because I look “normal,” you showed me that I’m not my disease.

To those who didn’t want to be my friends because my sickness was too much to handle or too difficult, you showed me what real friendship is and what yours wasn’t.

To those who didn’t believe my support dog was “real,” you proved that I may need a pet companion more than ever.

But also, to people out there with a chronic disease, there are some “those who didn’t” that make us stronger warriors…  

To those who didn’t doubt me for one second, you show me what unconditional love is.

To those who didn’t mind when I cried uncontrollably or acted selfishly, you made me rational when I thought I couldn’t deal with anything anymore.

To those who didn’t and won’t stop caring for me and loving me, thank you.

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Thinkstock photo by shironosov