I am really struggling with this today. He couldn't, wouldn't be there for me when my #physicalillness and #emotionalillness got worse. He used my illness against me when we argued. Instead trying to make things better as I tried, he'd tell me to get out (we lived in "his" house). I would tell him that I wasn't leaving because I loved him and wanted to make our marriage work. He never said the same... I tried so hard, but it was just too much. I couldn't carry us both (he has his own emotional garbage he's carrying around except his is in the depths of his "closet" and he denies their existence and affect on our life). Six months ago, when he told me to get out, once more. I did.
I am doing great, for the most part, but there are days, like today, when life just doesn't seem worth the price.. All my childhood trauma (#emotionalabuse, #neglect, #rejection, #abandonment, etc...) surfaces and I don't know how to pull myself out of this place....