ifeelalone

I have always been house to house I have always been by myself mistreated not even looked at past my body I gain 3 handsome sons out the worst realtionships in my life I thought I experienced love but I never did out of 24 years I don’t know what it’s like to have someone love me or child to actually care about us to actually not leave us, I have always had the bad guy never the good guy. I get the guy that thinks he ready and isn’t ready Or I’m friendzoned or just wanted for my body. What makes it so worst is the fact that I let it go on that long I always say self love niq then I go right back into a situation because it’s safe it shouldn’t be safe.. makes matter worst my house really fell down when my own mother didn’t believe in me she doesn’t believe I’m graduate college or turn my life around she did the unthinkable now before I tell you yes I lost two appointments dealing with my recent ex and youngest sons father but my mom didn’t like the fact that I would only get my kids on the weekend at her house but threw the week I would see two them and I would ft my youngest son he was gonna be an hour away my other two down the street from my college so she kicked me out and hit me holding my youngest one day and I had to do the unthinkable I removed myself from my mom placed my kids and safety and I was advised not to speak to her so I blocked her on everything all they were doing was helping me they saw they needed to push right to get myself together right . So I have seen them and ft them but I’m broken I’m lost I’m in a situation to where I don’t know if I can make it for my kids or if I can get another home in year I know what mistake not to do but I don’t even money for my uniforms or for anything my anxiety is through the roof I don’t like the way I look or feel I’m depressed I’m use to having my boys everyday noise 24/7 what I do how do I do it #depperison #Anxiety #idontlikeme #ifeelalone