I absolutely cannot tolerate or cope with the image looking back at me in the mirror. or photos. unless perfectly posed and then still slightly edited. I was trying to make a few music video clips w my bf for a song we made and I just watched back the footage literally cringing and wanting to just take scissors and cut the fat off. nothing works. baggy clothes make me bigger fitted clothes expose the truth. I just hate my fucking body. and I’m not even THAT big in reality. I’m overweight but not excessively . but what I see is a giant monster. god fucking Zilla. it feels disgusting. #BodyDysmorphicDisorder #Hatemyself #ifeelfat #Depression #CPTSD #pdnos #Mania #BipolarDisorder