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If Your IBD Could Text You, It Might Look Like This

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Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a condition involving chronic inflammation of all or part of the digestive tract. The two major categories of it are Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis, and it affects an estimated 1.6 million Americans, according to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America. Symptoms can include diarrhea, abdominal cramps and pain, constipation, weight loss and more. To put it lightly, it can be a real pain — like an unwanted friend who just. won’t. stop. texting. you.

Of course, IBD can’t text the people who live with it, but if it did, it might look something like this. The Mighty asked people who live with the condition what a text conversation with IBD might look like.

Here’s what they had to say:


"Cancel your plans tonight. I have a better idea, but you're not going to like it.
Hailey Remigio


"You just ate chili? I shall rain hellfire down upon you! Mwahahahaha!"
Peg Danek



"I noticed that you are having fun and enjoying yourself... I hope you know where the nearest toilet is in about 30 seconds."
Kristin Marie Kaskeski



"IBD: 'So, you have two big exams tomorrow morning? You don't feel like sleeping, right? Because I think I want to make multiple trips to the bathroom tonight." Me: 'Not tonight! Any night but tonight!' IBD: 'Maybe. We'll see how I'm feeling once you're finally asleep. ?"
Colette Manley



"Hey yo, you knew better than to eat and then go out, right? Oh, you were hungry? Ha, so? Hope you remembered the 'poo-pourri' for my stench... but nothing is going to cover the echoing sounds of me in a public bathroom. Have fun tonight!"
Chris Dudley



"IBD: 'So, heading out to a party and you thought I wouldn't want to join you? Dang, were you wrong!' Me: 'Oh, hey. Sorry about the miscommunication. You're not mad are you...? Oh, you're mad. Nooooooo.'"
Stacy Pottorff



"Of course they're not talking about you. Getting up to use the restroom in public often takes half an hour and leaves you sweating from head to toe. Totally normal."
Shannon Aronin



Text from IBD that reads "I know you're in the middle of Walmart and the bathroom is a mile away, but you better run!" With reply of running emoji


We can do this now or... just kidding, NOW! Hope you've got some time and a high pain tolerance!
Michelle Oldenburg Fong


"IBD: So for years your symptoms were like this and you managed me. We need to shake things up, what do you think? Me: ah wait, what? IBD: Done. *mic drop* Me: You suck."
Barbara-Seda Aghamianz



IBD: You honestly think that just because that iced coffee drink is made with almond milk it will make me happy? Me: Well, it is supposed to be better for my diet... I thought you would appreciate the effort. IBD: You really don't know me at all.
Janet Mitchell-Wilson


I really wish you would stop trying to eat. You know I start to get upset when you try to eat."
Tracy Augustine


"You tell me to go away but you keep drinking coffee. Mixed messages, girl!
Rebecca Brant


"I've had you for 50 years and I ain't never letting go."
Therese Carnivele-Beavers


"Ibs: You awake? Me: I am now."
Lee Anders

What would your IBD text you? Let us know in the comments below. 

Related: 17 Texts People With Chronic Illnesses Would Love to Get After Canceling Plans

Originally published: February 24, 2016
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