InsideOutside

I looked at myself in the mirror today.
I really looked at me.
I never really saw me until today.

I could never look myself in the eye and say,
I could see anything worthy.
Because all I saw was a shameful, dirty castaway.

I could not look into my eyes so deep:
The truth they held, hurt.
I was living a lie my eyes had to keep.

I hid the truth of nightmares when I sleep.
The truth of perpetrators.
I hid the truth of the reason I never weep.

I hid the seared in memories and devastating beliefs,
The silent shaking heart!
The fear, depression, dissociation-hoping for release.

Within my eyes held every hidden grief.
My eyes were afraid;
I was terrified of myself, and in disbelief.

My eyes always knew what I didn’t want to know.
For my eyes speak truth.
I feared the truth, but the truth helps me grow.

Looking into my eyes gave me the freedom to let go:
Let go of the false beliefs.
Things that held me back from living better tomorrows.

Allowing my eyes to speak broke my heart:
I see all my pain and anguish.
But, it is creating an amazing and unique work of art

I looked at myself in the mirror today and I saw my heart.
I really looked at me.
I saw me: my uniqueness, my worth: a beautiful work of art.