invalidated

I did not start learning about BPD until I was in my 30’s! I then realized I had had a lifetime of being invalidated by my mother, and had no relationship with her at all! Constantly, since my father died she tries to gaslight and use tactics to make me doubt my reality is true! Today, and she’s 90 now, she replied to me about an insurance company whom has been harassing me by calls and now actually leaving a note attached to my front door: “ are you sure it’s not a scam?” Like, with an MA now, I can’t be sure or even tell what or who is leaving the note, signed on my door, nor why!! Crazy making at its best, even at 90! But, I have learned not to let it anger me, I did however, address it with her appropriately!! Don’t ever think, however, that this will ever make things better, cure, or smooth things over with your BPD! The traits are engrained!! It also, could have other consequences backward not so good, so be careful!!

A comment that I spent quite a while formulating and typing was removed for no apparent reason. Even after being referred to the “guidelines”, I have NO idea what I could have said in violation of them, and with no way to re-read the comment that was removed, I have no way to even guess. I know that I didn’t use any profanity, and I truly don’t have any idea how I would have offended anyone, as most of my comment was sharing my experiences in agreement with the post, as far as I can remember.

So, I posted another comment in which I stated my confusion, hoping for clarification, and admitted that I was triggered into an unhealthy state, by the removal of the previous comment, but used what I understood to be a general enough term (which I won’t clarify, because then they’ll probably remove this post, too).

Now, I’m left feeling invalidated, confused, and yes, triggered, every time I think of The Mighty. I feel as though my experiences and opinions are not valid here, and I don’t want to spend my time and effort to be active here, if my comments that I’ve put considerable time and effort into, just get deleted with no explanation. Besides which, I can’t avoid making the same mistakes, unless I know what I did wrong!!

I’m feeling very hurt and angry, and I am trying to make this post as civil and guideline-respecting as I can.

I think it would be helpful if admin was expected to specify a reason for comment removal, as well as a quotation of the offending text.

So tired of not being believed about how much pain I am in. My back feels like it did after my surgery half the time, and that was 15 years ago! They're so insistent on keeping everyone off any kind of pain killer they've forgotten why these drugs were made in the first place 🙄

#ChronicPain

#ChronicPain