itsoktotalkaboutit

How do you talk to a young child about Suicide?

It’s never a conversation you want to have , but have it!

There is no black or white when it’s comes to losing someone to Suicide. Having to look my other 2 children in the face and telling them that their brother was gone was just another rip of my heart. Having to tell them how , not having answers for why… ripped even more. Our youngest was just 8. We decided not to tell him how his brother died right away. At the time, we did what we thought was best. We wanted to protect his innocence for as long as we could… or maybe we were protecting ourselves? Was it hard having the same conversation with our middle son who was 17 when his brother died!!!

The truth is both times were just as hard. I just didn’t see it that way at first. Sometimes we protect our kids more my telling them the painful and uncomfortable things.

There is no perfect parenting manual just as there isn’t a perfect way to grieve. I am still always learning, and my children themselves still teach me.

Telling my youngest about Suicide didn’t change what happened. It didn’t make his pain of loss any greater than it was. What it did do is make him feel safe. Safe to ask any questions he will ever have and know he will always get the truth. I can’t change the events that have happened in our lives but I can protect them by supporting them with any struggle they have.

His questions come in waves and most always are when I least expect them. Sometimes my answer has to be “ Bud I just don’t know”, but we talk. Sometimes we cry and sometimes we laugh after …. but we talk about it 💙

I wish I could have, I know I should have…..💙💙💙 Have the convo I didn’t ! It’s ok to talk about it. It’s ok to not be ok . #Suicide #LossOfAChild #Grief #itsoktotalkaboutit

How do you talk to a young child about Suicide?

It’s never a conversation you want to have , but have it!

There is no black or white when it’s comes to losing someone to Suicide. Having to look my other 2 children in the face and telling them that their brother was gone was just another rip of my heart. Having to tell them how , not having answers for why… ripped even more. Our youngest was just 8. We decided not to tell him how his brother died right away. At the time, we did what we thought was best. We wanted to protect his innocence for as long as we could… or maybe we were protecting ourselves? Was it hard having the same conversation with our middle son who was 17 when his brother died!!!

The truth is both times were just as hard. I just didn’t see it that way at first. Sometimes we protect our kids more my telling them the painful and uncomfortable things.

There is no perfect parenting manual just as there isn’t a perfect way to grieve. I am still always learning, and my children themselves still teach me.

Telling my youngest about Suicide didn’t change what happened. It didn’t make his pain of loss any greater than it was. What it did do is make him feel safe. Safe to ask any questions he will ever have and know he will always get the truth. I can’t change the events that have happened in our lives but I can protect them by supporting them with any struggle they have.

His questions come in waves and most always are when I least expect them. Sometimes my answer has to be “ Bud I just don’t know”, but we talk. Sometimes we cry and sometimes we laugh after …. but we talk about it 💙 #Suicide #lossofchild #Grief #itsoktotalkaboutit

It only took one minute for everything to change. They placed you in my arms , I was no longer myself. I became more, I was your Mom.

It only took one minute to fall so deep in love with you. I was finally holding the baby I had been so eager to meet for 9 months.

It only took one minute of patience to enter into your world. You were always ready to open the door, it was us who needed to find the right key.

It only took one minute to hear you laugh and have it infectiously light up the room.

It only took one minute to listen to you speak and see what an incredibly unique soul you are.

It only took one minute for them to tell me you were gone for my heart to shatter.

It only took one minute for me to understand how important every minute spent with you was a gift I took for granted.

It only takes one minute to start a conversation. Suicide is important to talk to about.

It only takes one minute to ask someone if they are ok. More important it’s ok to not be ok, that’s how we learn how to ask for help.

I would give anything to have any of the “one minute’s “back that I got to have with him.

Tomorrow starts 4yrs of my son being gone. Today I needed to reflect and writing helps with that. These years that have past have not been easy, nor does it ever really get easier. I have just learned more than anything what a moment can truly mean.
#Suicide #lossofchild #Aspergers #Grief #itsoktotalkaboutit