To the Mom Who Hasn't Yet Realized These Are the Best Days of Her Life

You will change drastically over the next few years. You will have future plans all lined out for yourself. Those will end up being pushed further and further back. You thought you’d had your heart broken before. And you did. But this will be the ultimate heartbreak. The one you never can mend. Friends will disappear. Even family will disappear. Your relationship will eventually begin to fall apart. And then your little boy will bring you both back together. You will put yourself last every time. But you will soon realize all this doesn’t matter. Sometimes you’ll miss the old days — you know, when your only responsibility was making yourself happy.

Then, one day, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. These years are the best days of your life. These years with your first born — maybe only born — are filled with gratitude. Thankfulness that can’t be described with words. You will thank the Lord every day for giving you this precious gift. You will never ask why. Why me? That will never come out of your mouth. That will never even run through your mind. People won’t understand. Sometimes you won’t even understand. You will get down, but the second your eyes see his, everything will light up again inside of you. Your career won’t matter, but you will enjoy school because that ends up being your escape from reality. Never thought you would say that, huh? You will race home after class because three hours is just too much time away from your baby boy.

Your child is living with Krabbe leukodystrophy. But that doesn’t define your son. What defines him is what you see when you look at him. You see perfection and beauty. You see a 3-year-old who has overcome so many obstacles. A 3-year-old who should complain more and make your life so hard and hectic. But he doesn’t. He’s the center of your universe. He has single-handedly shown you how awesome the Lord is. He has balanced your life in more ways than one. 

That is why, even if you could go back, you would never change a single thing. You won’t ever hope for another healthy, “normal” baby. Your only hope will be to keep the one perfect child you already have.

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