By Linda Athanasiadou

People often assume they know what being bisexual means. That it’s about liking men and women “equally.” That it’s indecisive, confusing, or temporary. That it’s a stepping stone to something else—or nothing serious at all. But the truth is, being bisexual doesn’t fit neatly into anyone’s assumptions. It’s not a phase. It’s not a performance. And it’s definitely not what most people think.

Being bisexual feels like freedom and friction at the same time. It’s the freedom to be attracted to more than one gender, to connect with people beyond binaries. But it’s also the friction of constantly navigating a world that struggles to recognize that truth. A world where people often ask, “But which do you prefer?” or assume that your current partner defines your orientation.

For me, being bisexual means living in the space between—and sometimes feeling like you don’t fully belong anywhere. Straight people often treat you like you’re gay. Queer spaces sometimes treat you like you’re straight. Dating can feel like a test: Will this person understand? Will I have to defend myself again?

It also means constantly coming out. Every new person, every new relationship, every time someone assumes. There’s no one-and-done moment. It’s ongoing. And while sometimes that feels empowering, other times it’s exhausting. Because each time, you’re weighing whether it’s safe, whether it’s worth the explanation, whether your truth will be accepted or minimized.

Being bisexual means sitting with contradictions that don’t feel contradictory to you—but do to others. It’s knowing that you can love a man and still be queer. That being in a same-gender relationship doesn’t make you any “more” gay than you were before. That identity isn’t measured by who you’re currently dating.

But it’s not all struggle. There’s beauty in the nuance. There’s clarity in understanding attraction as something fluid and not forced into a mold. There’s joy in finding others who feel the same, who share your language, who don’t raise an eyebrow when you say you’re bi. There’s power in rejecting the idea that your love has to look a certain way to be valid.

Being bisexual, for me, feels like reclaiming space. Space to define myself without apology. Space to unlearn shame. Space to feel fully seen.

So no—it’s not what most people think. It’s deeper, messier, and more real. And it’s not something that needs to be justified or simplified.

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