I've been bisexual all of my life. Although I have predominantly had relationships with women.
I met and married my husband 6 years ago and, while we've struggled, we have been working things out.
Lately, I have completely lost interest in our intimate relationship and am coming to realize that I am much more happy in relationships with women.
The crux of the problem is that I promised him that, no matter what I wanted in my relationship preferences, I would always take care of him.
He is two years clean from a lifetime of crack addiction and lives on $800 a month. He truly would struggle to survive if I didn't help.
I understand that my mental health comes first, that I can't save him at my expense. I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place.
My CPTSD symptoms interfere by playing programming that says, "You will abandon him the way you were abandoned." "You are a bad person for backing out of your promise."
Logically, I know that this is not true, feelingwise, it's almost impossible to navigate. I would appreciate any feedback on other's struggles with the same experience. Thank you!
#CPTSD #LGBTQ #Bisexual #Marriedandbisexual #Early Childhood Trauma