lucidity

24.04.20.14:45

Faded to black.
Faced an abyss.
Light does not reach,
breezes avoid,
time and hope die.
At the edge, I
stand teetering.
As I look down,
while my heart faints,
my mind reminds,
only a dream.
Deep breath. I'm back.

#lucidity

Oh, I didn’t know lucidity existed, from this so called mental illness I have been going throu #gh for the last 4 to 5 years since I was able to recognize it as what is actually is, and have it treated and fighting to survive.
I have had phases, better and good. But this is totally different. This moment I don’t know how long it would last. But man, I feel happy, my face keeps smiling without me knowing. My face is glowing of happiness, appreciation, and proudness. How far I have come.
The last three days I have been energetic, hygiene, taking care of myself, organized, standing tall and yeah that freaky smile; like everyone sees me in colour while the rest of the world is in black and white. Like I see myself in colour and I walk looking ahead standing tall on my feet.
I googled the meaning of lucidity It says clarity of expression I just wonder how long it would last and before the negativity kicks in I say to myself I am going to enjoy this and be selfish I get to be happy I deserve to be happy I am going to live in the present and not worry too much about could bee’s and would bee’s #MentalIllness #Anxiety #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #fightingtosurvive #fightingdepression