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How Kesha's Song 'Praying' Reminds Me of My Battle With Chronic Pain

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Every time I hear the song “Praying” by Kesha it brings tears to my eyes because it reminds me of my fight through chronic illness and pain.

“Well, you almost had me fooled
Told me that I was nothing without you
Oh, but after everything you’ve done
I can thank you for how strong I have become”

It’s almost as if my illness was defining me by saying, “Hi, I have Lyme disease,” instead of “Hi, I am Jen.”

After these past 10 years my chronic illness has made me the strong and independent person I am today.

“‘Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is ‘I wish you farewell’”

Having chronic nerve pain sometimes feels like my body is on fire and I do feel as if I am in hell.

Learning to fight my chronic illness and pain was definitely tough, but I can tell you I will win this as I am now a fighter and warrior.

I wish it was easy to say goodbye, but it is hard to get rid of you. Once you are gone it will be my favorite farewell.

“I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’.”

I actually hope you are not praying, I just hope you go away or leave me alone.

“I’m proud of who I am
No more monsters, I can breathe again
And you said that I was done
Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come
‘Cause I can make it on my own, oh
And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known
I’ll bring thunder, I’ll bring rain, oh
When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name.”

I am proud of who I have become because of my illness and pain.

No more bugs, bacteria, viruses, parasites, etc. and then I will be able to breathe.

The best is yet to come, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if I am still far away. It is there.

I do not need you to teach me to be strong anymore, I have learned enough.

When I am finished I hope they do know your name, so awareness is out there.

If some of the lyrics were changed I think this song could directly be related to our fight with chronic illnesses and chronic pain. It is a very strong song.

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Originally published: February 7, 2018
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