You came into my life without my consent, and once you were there you stayed. I had no choice but to live with you.
I tell myself “be patient,” but you test my patience every minute of every day.
I tell myself “relax,” but you give me intense anxiety and panic attacks.
I tell myself “I’m fine,” but you make my mind jumbled and my body no longer mine.
You are selfish. You take and take but never give.
I wear a mask when I go out. I look fine. But under my skin, you are killing me.
No one can fully understand what you have done to me, except me.
I understand now how you operate. How you sneak in and manipulate. How you find my weak spots and force your way in. How you try to control and unravel every inch of me.
I used to wish we never met, but I realize now it’s for the best. You wrecked my mind, body, and spirit, but I’m stronger than you, and stronger than I thought I could be. I needed you to realize this, but I don’t need you any longer. You have served your purpose. You are free to go.
And if you come back, I will meet you at the door laughing. I’m not the same person as I was before.
So thank you, but now please stay away.
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Photo via Unsplash by Sasha Freemind
Lauren Friedwald empowers people to heal themselves through somatic coaching, breathwork, sound healing, and subconscious reprogramming. She enjoys yoga, reading, writing, acting, traveling, baking, matcha, and dark chocolate. You can follow her on Instagram @healingwithlaurenjill
laurenfriedwald