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Today I Was Supposed to Start 'Adulting' (But Settled Into Spoonie Life Instead)

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Today I was supposed to start “adulting.”

You know, doing “grown up things,” like going to a 9-to-5 job, paying my rent, and squeezing my way into the subway to make it home on the 6 p.m. train.

It was supposed to be my first day of work at a fancy high-powered New York City media job. Truthfully, it was a job most would kill for. Instead, I settled into killing my Lyme disease.

I hooked myself into my IV, and settled into the next nine months of some serious spoonie life.

I didn’t put on my beautiful new dress I got from a stylish boutique in Newport. Rather, I put on my cozy clothes and grabbed my blanket.

I didn’t stop at Starbucks on my way to the subway. Rather, I made a cup of ginger green tea to try to mask the cat pee taste my Clindamycin IV leaves in my mouth.

I didn’t show up early to impress my new boss. Rather, I turned another show on Netflix and fell back to sleep just one hour after waking up.

I didn’t put in my nine hours and work my ass off. Rather, I took a two-hour nap and didn’t start working until 8 p.m. in my bed.

I didn’t go out to after-dinner drinks with my new colleagues. Rather, I hooked up to my second IV on of the day.

As I watch all of my college classmates start “adulting” today I am OK with my nine-month treatment plan.

Because I can’t do any of those things until I get better. I need to take the time to listen to my body, and fight like hell, to rid myself of this awful disease.

And just because I am not “adulting” doesn’t mean I am not working on being an adult. I started a business at 19. I have paid my own medical bills and driven myself to doctor’s appointments two states away. I have taken a shower by myself with a PICC line and managed to not get my line wet. In my mind, these are all “adulting,” just spoonie-style.

Originally published: September 7, 2016
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