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What Someone Really Means by These Facebook Posts About Depression

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Editor's Note

If you experience suicidal thoughts, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741.

I like to be as open and honest as I can about my life, including when I’m on Facebook. This includes being honest about my trauma and disabilities, including my depression. Being authentic and speaking my truth is a very important part of who I am. More than that, though, it has been the most powerfully healing part of my journey.

Some people appreciate my honesty and feel able to share some of their truths. Other people have felt comforted, knowing they are not alone and knowing that what they are experiencing doesn’t make them “crazy.” People have told me that they have felt encouraged, knowing that I have overcome so many hurdles and still push on.

Some people probably get sick and tired of my honesty. They may find it too depressing or too confronting. I get it! I really do! You’re sick of hearing about my issues. I’m sick of having them! But I get it. It’s not your problem. Some people may even think I’m looking for pity or attention. What people don’t know is that while I’m passionate about speaking my truth, I also respect that there are boundaries about what should be shared and where. Like they say, “there’s a time and place for everything.”

You may see me write, “Wow! That was a rough night, I’m not looking forward to today on little to no sleep!”

What I mean, but you won’t see me post, is: “Wow! That was a rough night! I wasn’t sure that I was going to still be alive by morning. I spent every waking moment praying to God to give me the strength to hold on just a little bit longer, and then a little bit longer, until it was dawn. I’m not looking forward to today on little to no sleep; today could really break me.”

I may post, “I really wish I could stop thinking and just go to sleep!”

What I mean, but won’t post on Facebook, is: “My obsessive thoughts are making me replay and relive every traumatic event in my life, in minute detail, on loop. I can’t turn the loop off. I’m shaking. I’m crying. I’m having cold sweats. I can’t keep living like this. Why won’t it stop?!”

One thing no one will ever see me post or say is: “Someone, please help. I need help.”

Like I said, I get it. It’s not your problem. You don’t want to hear about it. I try to keep a balance of humor and seriousness. I try to normalize speaking about trauma, mental health and disabilities. I hate to think that someone could be experiencing similar issues and be feeling isolated, all because nobody else will talk about it. That’s how I lived most of my life and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone! So, next time you think someone just wants attention or pity, think about what they may not be saying. Think about the possible depth to their despair. Also, ask yourself, “why are they sharing this with us?” It can be so healing, for more than just the poster, to speak their truth.

Photo by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash

Originally published: December 14, 2020
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