When My Concerned 5-Year-Old Asked Me If His Cut Would Scar

The other day my 5-year-old asked me if he had a scar on his lip.

A couple of weeks ago he had a head-on collision with another child in his Sunday school class. This is an extremely common incident with children, so I wasn’t that concerned because he was just fine. A little busted lip, but nothing horrific.

When he asked me if he had a scar the look on his face was a mix between fear and concern.

I have plenty of scars. Huge old seemingly ancient scars. Marfan syndrome has left me with battle scars up and down my body.

These are my scars from oldest to newest:

1. A scar that runs down the length of my back from surgery to place rods for correcting scoliosis.

2. One slender scar down my chest, and a round bumpy scar inches up from my belly button. Both are from open heart surgery.

3. Scars on the sides of my foot from trying to correct these horrible Marfan toes.

4. A scar on my lower abdomen in the shape of an anchor. I had a c-section with both of my boys, and with the first boy I had a second surgery two days after his birth to stop internal bleeding.

My son has seen these scars, he has never questioned them. He obviously understands what they are, but has not asked one single word to why they are there.

After probing a little further he was concerned if someone would tease him. An innocent enough question, and I completely have been in his shoes at one point.

It was a horrendous job finding prom dresses, bathing suits, basically any item of clothing that wasn’t a turtle neck when I was a teen. Terrified the kids I went to school with would be given one more reason to point out my imperfections.

I left high school 13 years ago, and that was probably the last point in my life I worried about my scars. As I grew into the woman I am, my scars were the last worry on my mind. I could honestly care less if my body looks like it’s been pieced back together and could totally pass for Frankenstein’s second cousin. I wear what I want and never try to hide them purposely.

I looked at my handsome child in the eyes and told him a scar never changes how amazing he is. It’s just a mark on his body. He could always tell people he was in a street fight and they should see the other guy!

He smiled and ran back into his playroom without a care in the world. He hasn’t asked since about his lip, and truth be told he doesn’t have a scar. The moral he took from his oh-so-traumatic scar incident is that it wouldn’t change anything about him.

Scars can seem ugly, and they can be a quick reminder of scary and painful times. They also can be a beautiful reminder of how hard you fought for your life, or a gigantic blessing like after having a child. They are nothing to be ashamed of or hide. They may change your physical appearance, but they do not change you.

Image via Thinkstock.