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My Counselor Is Retiring and I Am Full of Questions

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It would have been going on three years since I started seeing my wonderful counselor. Today is her last day of work.

My eyes swell up with tears again thinking about this. I had never thought I would be able to open up to someone in the ways I did to her. She is such a kindhearted, welcoming, trustful and non-judgmental woman, someone for whom I have such admiration. She was with me through the worst of times and proud of me during the best of times, and now… I feel lost and alone.

Yes, I have met her replacement, who also seems to be really wonderful — but now I am full of questions. How will I ever be able to fully open up to someone new and where do I even begin with this new counselor? I feel as though I am back to square one, like when I first started opening up to someone new. Will I fall back into old habits? There is just so much going on in my already-overloaded mind that I can’t keep up.

In the end, I need to remember everything I have learned thus far and my new coping skills. I need to breathe and remind myself there are better days ahead. I need to be open with my new counselor and give her the chance to let her into my life. I need to remember she deserves this retirement and I am happy for her. And lastly, I need her to know I am oh-so-thankful for getting me where I am now because I never would have gotten here without her.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

Originally published: March 12, 2019
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