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A Letter to Those Struggling to Pick Themselves Up, Let Me Help You

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Hey friend,

Right now you are feeling worn out, overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted and as if everything is falling apart. The feeling is haunting you to the point where you are losing sleep, losing weight, losing your hair, and most of all, you keep losing your sanity. You lie awake at night thinking about every little thing you need to do. You finally fall asleep for two hours before you have to wake up, leaving you exhausted and unable to think clearly for the remainder of the day. You have fallen into this dangerous cycle and you need to break it. That, of course, is easier said than done (as anyone who has been this stressed out understands).

I understand your pain and struggle. Maybe your smile doesn’t reach your eyes anymore or maybe the days seem to feel like every time you wake up, it is only getting worse and worse. Maybe you don’t see the point in waking up or even living through the day. Maybe you feel like there is no possible chance of things getting better. You may think that this is it. What’s the point of fighting if every time you get to the slightest bit of happiness, it goes wrong? Your life is being run by the fear of failure, or maybe even the fear of pain.

I’m here to tell you that if you feel like you have hit rock bottom, that means the only other way to go is up. It may be dark and your thoughts are scary and your emotions are overwhelming you. You just have to take a moment and breathe. You have to find the one thing inside of you that makes you want to keep fighting and hold onto that.

If you already know what giving up feels like, why not try to see what not giving up feels like. Maybe you have no idea what happiness feels like, but you are fully aware of what sadness feels like. You can learn to challenge all the negativity. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, I’m saying that it is possible. I know how addicting sadness is. It’s almost like an excuse to put your life on pause.

Now if you’re someone who doesn’t know how to get to happiness, you can start by figuring out the exact reason why you feel the way you feel. Then challenge it. My favorite quote is, “In a life long and well lived, there will be pain and darkness.” Every bit of pain you have been through, every scary thought, it’s all going to be a lesson. Each lesson you learn, you should hold closely and never regret any of it. This is all shaping your character and every part of your mental strength. You will come out on top, and as cliché as it sounds, it really will get better. You will see the light again and so many people who really care for you are so proud of you. I may not know you or maybe I do, but I am so proud of you. You will make it out of this and you will be okay.

Whether it’s a relationship, school or a job, know your worth. This is so important. The day you look in the mirror and have this overall, “I’m worth more than this feeling,” is the day you will change your life. Do something that makes you feel good inside. Do your favorite activity, take some time to spoil yourself. Because you’re worth it. You’re worth being the happiest person possible, and you’re worth being treated wonderfully.

Learn to let go. There are some things and people that we just can’t change. The moment you let go of the toxic things in your life, the moment you realize you suddenly have all this free time to spend with the people who build you up, is the moment you can finally breathe again. Rekindle old friendships, go out and meet new people, start writing that book you’ve been meaning to write. Whatever it is, do it.

It’s OK to cry. We all have setbacks. We all get so overwhelmed with whatever weight we are hauling around on our shoulders, and sometimes you just need to have a good, long, crying session. Do it. Sit in your room and just let it out. Call up your best friend for support. You have support, and you’re not alone. Not only do you let out all that negative energy, you find out who your friends are (trust me, nothing brings people together like tears).

Move on. Whatever it is that you’re worrying about, move on. Grades don’t measure your worth as a person. That significant other who treats you like dirt does not keep you alive. That job that you wake up every morning miserable to go to isn’t the only job you’ll ever have. So move on. Study a little harder, but in the end, know that you did your best. Get rid of that guy or girl who treats you like dirt and focus on yourself. Go out and find a new job! The possibilities are endless, you simply just have to take that first step.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, there is a person who thinks the world of you. There is a friend whose life is better because you’re in it. There is a person out there who is going to have a better life when they finally meet you. You may not know your place in the world yet, but you definitely have one. You are more than just a daughter, son, sister, brother, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. You are first and foremost, you. And that is the most important thing you can be.

Lastly, you’re not alone. We live in a society where there are people at your fingertips ready and willing to speak to you, text with you or whatever it is that you need. You have a huge support system that you probably don’t even know exists. So take a deep breath, take the plunge and reach out. You never know who will stumble into your life when you need them the most.


Someone who believes in you

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 741-741. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.

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Thinkstock photo via Jupiterimages

Originally published: June 19, 2017
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