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18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice I've Received From Therapists

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A therapist is invaluable in the life of those dealing with trauma and other issues, and they are also invaluable when you just need someone who can give you an honest, nonjudgmental opinion.

I have been in therapy a good part of my life. Seeking support to deal with a childhood that was littered with abuse by multiple perpetrators, both sexual and emotional. Sometimes, I misused therapy and did not take it seriously. I was too afraid to really open up and share how I was truly being impacted by my past and how that was bleeding over into my present life.

It was not until I was 36 years old that I entered a therapeutic relationship that was authentic, and I was open about my past and how it was impacting my daily life. This person was a good fit, which is so important when you are trying to talk about the most intimate details of your life.

Before I entered this therapeutic relationship, I was closed off and lost. Now, I am centered and focused consistently on healing. Do not get me wrong, we battle sometimes, and I have thoughts of quitting from time to time (that is usually when she is right about something and I am scared).

One thing I appreciate about her is her 30-plus years of work have led her to have a significant amount of wisdom I deeply value. She has imparted this wisdom on numerous occasions, and I am forever grateful.

I surveyed my friends and others, and added the gems I have received over time. I have listed here some advice from wise therapists that may also help you:

1. Feelings are not facts.

2. You have my permission to take a nap.

3. Stop trying to make lifers out of seasonal relationships (friends).

4. It’s not your fault.

5. Don’t be afraid to disconnect. To take time for yourself and put your needs first.

6. Your family and friends will still love you even when you say, “no.”

7. Stop holding on to friendships just because you have history. It’s OK to let go of relationships that no longer serve you.

8. It’s OK to unfollow people in real life.

9. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. You are one badass beautiful woman.

10. Stick to your boundaries!

11. Stop lying to yourself.

12. Many people will not like your no … and that’s OK.

13. You have to stop looking for the proper empathetic response from those you know and love.

14. Vulnerability and weakness aren’t interchangeable. They are two different things.

15. You have to teach people how to treat you.

16. Protect your peace and sanity no matter who you have to cut off!

17. You have the right to change your mind.

18. “No” is a full sentence.

Take this wisdom today and incorporate this in your healing. As I said, I find therapy invaluable, and I hope you will too. If you are not getting the kind of support you feel you need, remember therapists work for you. Talk with them first about your concerns and if that does not work, then work to move on. You do not need to pay for substandard services.

Getty image by Prostock-Studio

Originally published: April 9, 2021
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