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This Is Mental Illness

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It’s nights like these that devastate me to my core. The pain is so overwhelming it takes my breath away. I can’t possibly understand why this is happening.

This is mental illness. This is my reality and the reality of millions around the world fighting this battle every single day.

I feel so sad. I feel so anxious. I feel so defeated.

Mental illness is a tormenter, a bully who never stops screaming at you. It is a constant thunderstorm with so much rain that you are drowning. It is your worst enemy and your best friend. It is your enemy because it hates you. It is your best friend because it convinces you that you cannot live without it.

Thousands of days, hundreds of days spent crying on my bedroom floor. Holidays spent in hospitals. More scarred skin than not. A face more wet than dry. Notebooks filled with suicide notes.

Lost friendships. Lost potential. Lost opportunities. Lost days. Lost years.

This is mental illness.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.

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Image via Thinkstock.
Originally published: November 30, 2016
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