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Feeling Alone Is a Chance to Find Yourself

Feeling alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing

Feeling alone can be a bad feeling, or it can be an opportunity to look within yourself and discover what’s missing. When you’re feeling alone, you feel misunderstood. People may surround you, but they may not understand you, and that’s frustrating. When you find yourself feeling alone, it may be because you want to have that feeling of comfort, knowing that someone understands who you are and what you’re going through, but it’s missing. You might try to seek understanding from your partner, and you can’t find it there either. How do you get that comfort?

I’m misunderstood

“I feel misunderstood” is a common thought that might go through your head when you’re feeling alone. What is it about you that you want people to understand? It’s a time for self-reflection and a time to prioritize what you want to do in life. What do you want people to know about you? Maybe you don’t have to work so hard for people to “get” you. You might need some time for self-reflection and prioritize what’s important about your identity. You’re changing, and maybe there’s a part of yourself that you haven’t had time to express yet, or you haven’t had time to express yourself in a particular way. Now, it’s time to figure out how to accurately show people who you are, because none of us stay the same throughout our entire lives.


When you’re alone, go for a walk, meditate or take a ride on a train with no destination and think about what you find important, what your goals are, and how to get to where you want to go. Being alone is an opportunity for solace and a time to reconnect to who you are, or even discover new parts of yourself. Maybe there’s a part of yourself that wants to come out, an aspect of who you are that you’ve yet to acknowledge, and it wants to be heard. It’s possible that you’ve been ignoring this aspect of yourself without realizing it, but when you’re by yourself, you can’t ignore it because that part of yourself is talking loudly. It’s begging, “Hear me!” It’s demanding to be listened to, and now that you have time for yourself, you can take that time to listen to what it wants to tell you. Hearing your inner voice matters.


Writing down your feelings is an excellent way to keep in touch with yourself and understand what’s on your mind. Sometimes you don’t quite know what it is you’re feeling, and journaling is an outlet that you can use to tap into those emotions. When you review what you’ve written out, you’ll be able to recognize “Oh! That’s what I’m thinking about, here’s what’s been bothering me, and I didn’t even realize it!” Journaling is like a form of therapy because it’s a way to express and identify things that you’ve been keeping inside. Another great way to do this is to go to treatment.

Online counseling

Whether you work with a local counselor or an online counselor, seeing a mental health provider can help you get clarity and make you feel less alone. When you work with an online counselor, it’s private and you can talk to your counselor anywhere with a reliable internet connection. You can even bring your journal to show your counselor what you’ve been thinking and feeling. It’s time for you to find a way to be present with yourself and non-judgmental. Have compassion for yourself. Treat yourself like you’d treat a great friend. Remember, you can gain knowledge from feeling alone, and in online therapy, you can take that knowledge further to accept yourself and who you are.

Lead photo courtesy of Pexels

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