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When Mental Illness Makes You Feel Unlovable

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Dear You,

I understand how hard and exhausting it is to deal with and cope with the rollercoaster of emotions that depression and anxiety can bring into your life. Given the immense amount of self-doubt and insecurities that can also come along for the ride, it makes sense to me that you might also assume no one else would want to take on that burden. The fact of the matter is: it is not a burden to love you. Love is about interacting with and accepting a person in their entirety. You are not your struggles. You are not your diagnosis. You are not your traumatic experiences. You are not broken. You are a freaking survivor. You are not a mess. You are a beautiful human being and anyone would be (or already is) extremely lucky to have you in their life. You are a bright soul encased in gorgeous skin that deserves to be accepted, valued, and loved wholly, not picked apart.

Mental health struggles are a part of your life journey, not permanent fixtures in your value or worth as a person. No matter what side effects pop up because of them, you are always worthy and capable of being loved. When you haven’t had the will to shower in days. When you’re a blubbering mess on the floor during a panic attack. When you randomly get triggered and shut down. When you’re curled up in a ball under your blanket all day questioning whether life is worth living. Every single moment of your life: you are lovable. You are lovable in every state of emotion or life experience.

Please know that these words are always here to remind you that you, my love, are whole and wonderful. You just happen to be among the millions of people who experience depression and/or anxiety during their life journey. As you continue to work towards healing and improving the way you feel about yourself, this feeling of uncertainty will fade. But in the meantime, please return to this letter when you are struggling so that I can tell you over and over again that what you’ve been through and are growing through fuels an immense amount of strength within you that makes you absolutely amazing and admirable.

With most love,


Follow this journey here

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “HOME” to 741-741. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.

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Unsplash photo via Olayinka Babalola 

Originally published: September 25, 2017
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