The Mighty Logo

To the Stay-at-Home Moms Who Are Somewhere Between Feeling Blessed and Hating Life

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

As mothers, we have been conditioned by society to feel and share only the good stuff – the happy moments. So, what about the feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, fear, even resentment that may accompany motherhood? Society prefers to see mothers as superheroes who have extraordinary emotional and physical capabilities.

I used to be led by fear and shame. I wanted to be a “good mom.” I wanted everyone to think I was the best mom. I was not even certain what the “best mom” looked like, but I was certain I was not her. Feeling alone in your experience is extremely isolating.

To all those stay-at-home moms who are emotionally somewhere between feeling blessed and hating life, I say this:

Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,

It is OK if you hate it. It does not mean you are a horrible mother. It does
not mean you do not love your kids. It does not mean that you do not appreciate motherhood. It is OK to feel it. There’s purpose in what you feel. In fact, when we suppress it — whatever “it” may be — here is what happens inside our bodies:

Emotion is made up on energy. When we suppress an emotion, rather than resolve it through an emotional response, the energy from that emotion remains. The urgency of that feeling may subside, but the energy remains inside us. Physics says that mass turns in to energy and energy turns into mass. Emotional energy becomes a mass. If you keep this energy inside of you, you become energetically “clogged” in the same way you would with a stuffed artery. Imagine walking around day to day with a stuffed artery and hoping it resolves itself. Emotional blocking is just as serious! It can transform into emotional and physical illnesses such as chronic depression and fatigue.

So, own your feelings! Do not suppress them out of shame or fear that others will judge you. They may. We do not live in a world free of judgment. That is our reality. You cannot control how others see you. But, you can control how you’re influenced by their judgment. You can choose to accept what you feel as a valid representation of your experience. It is your experience. It is as UNIQUE as you are. Embrace it!

Photo credit: LSOphoto/Getty Images

Originally published: March 19, 2021
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home