I started to open up about something.
The next day someone very dear to me hurt me very badly, they cannot even accept that it was a miscommunication, they blacklisted me.
Now, my depression is worsening. I hurt. I want to cry, but as soon as I start to I get really really angry and shut it down.
I feel like I cannot trust anyone because if I say the wrong thing people will automatically turn their backs on me. Even after 8 years of always, always, having theirs.
I feel completely alone.
I am only writing this here because if I don't say it I know I won't. I don't expect any one to even care.
I want this year to end.
Hells, if I didn't want so badly to see my kids grow up to be happy adults, then I would actively want this planet to end.
I want things to stop eating away my dreams.
#Depression #lonely #PancreaticCancer #miscommunications #Emptiness #hollow #brokendreams