Hi, my name is AnxiousKitty. I'm here because Im struggling with lack of family and friends. I'm struggling to overcome years of emotional abuse. And struggling with loneliness while navigating a divorce trauma attachment issues in a state far far away from family.#Anxiety #Depression #AutismSpectrumDisorder #PTSD #ADHD #OCD #Grief #EatingDisorder
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I can’t remember the last time I made a post here. I’d been feeling better lately. But yesterday, I went to church, and suddenly, this wave of sadness and loneliness hit me again. I held it together for a while, but when I got home, I collapsed into bed and just cried. Then I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I felt a little lighter—but the weight in my chest is still unbearable.
Four months ago, something painful happened with a girl I liked. My feelings for her were genuine, but they weren’t returned. At least, I think so. I still don’t understand what went wrong. For a while, she seemed interested—she reached out, showed signs she cared. But then, suddenly, she started avoiding me. No explanation, no conversation. Just silence. And because of that, I can’t move on. My mind keeps racing, trying to figure out what happened. Maybe her parents forbade her from seeing me? Her father’s a priest, and her family is very religious—though we’ve never even met. Maybe she likes girls but is too afraid to admit it, even to herself. Maybe she’s seriously ill and doesn’t want to hurt anyone by getting close. I know these thoughts are probably irrational, but I can’t shake them. If she’d just said, “I’m sorry, but this isn’t right for me,” or “I don’t see a future with you,” — anything — I think I could’ve healed by now. But she left me hanging. I wish I could talk to her about it, but I can’t. She’s shy and reserved, and I don’t want to pressure her. Besides, we haven’t spoken in four months. We were never even close—not really friends, just… something vague.
Thanks for reading.
2 reactions There was a lonely boy in high school. He wasn’t lonely because he couldn’t make friends—he was lonely because he knew no one would ever understand him. He knew he was alone in his world. He watched his peers revel in their youth while he gazed from the shadows, a hollow smile on his lips. He longed to be like them, envied them deeply, but could never bridge the chasm between them. Throughout his youth, he suffered: no sweetheart, no friends—just gnawing solitude. He ached for rescue from the darkness consuming his heart. He craved someone to look into his eyes and whisper, “You’re not alone,” to grasp his hand and lead him toward light. But no one came. The boy remained alone, weeping in his darkness. And when the darkness had devoured his heart, he ended his life—and with it, his suffering
#Depression
1 reaction Hi, my name is szahara. I'm here because I was married to & raised two kids with a man who has narcissistic personality disorder. I’m trying to navigate having to share custody with a man who was/is abusive to me & my kids. I’m trying to make sense out of how the court system in this country is not adept to protecting battered women & their children. I’m trying to heal & salvage what remains of my life that he so skillfully & strategically destroyed. I’m struggling to find the courage to move forward & build a new life for myself after being completely isolated & controlled for so long. I wish I had known about narcissistic personality disorder & cluster B disorders decades earlier & am frustrated when I hear that my only recourse is to tip-toe around the predator. This generational trauma is not his fault, but this doesn’t mean I’m the one who has to pretend any of this is normal & have to lie to my kids about who their father really is. It feels like people are more concerned with protecting him, while I am invalidated & forced to live with the fallout he caused. Its lonely & confusing.
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Heart Attacks Are No Longer a Leading Cause of Death. Here's What's Killing Us Instead
Introduction: A Quiet Shift in the Landscape of Mortality
For decades, the word "heart attack" evoked an image of sudden collapse, chest clutching, and emergency-room dashes. It was, for a long time, the leading cause of death globally — and rightly feared. But in recent years, an unexpected shift has occurred. Cardiovascular disease, though still serious, is no longer the singular, dominant killer it once was. Thanks to medical advances, public awareness, and lifestyle changes, the heart has become better protected.
Yet death hasn’t retreated — it’s simply changed its form. Today, other insidious and sometimes less-discussed threats are overtaking heart attacks as the primary causes of death. What are these new killers? And what do they say about how we live now?
In this article, we explore the silent assassins of the modern age — the diseases and conditions now claiming more lives than heart attacks — and what you can do to protect yourself in a rapidly shifting health landscape.
The Fall of the Heart Attack: A Public Health Victory
Before we explore what’s killing us now, it’s important to understand why heart attacks have declined.
1. Medical Advancements
Breakthroughs in cardiology, including:
Widespread use of cholesterol-lowering statins
Hypertension medications
Angioplasty and stenting techniques
Cardiac rehabilitation programs
Wider availability of defibrillators
These interventions have significantly improved outcomes for those at risk.
2. Public Health Campaigns
Governments and NGOs worldwide have launched campaigns about:
Smoking cessation
Diet improvement (reducing trans fats, salt)
Promoting physical activity
Blood pressure and cholesterol screenings
These efforts have reshaped public consciousness and behavior.
3. Preventive Care
More people are getting routine checkups and adopting preventive measures — catching heart issues early before they lead to fatal heart attacks.
4. Emergency Response
Faster ambulance response times, CPR training for the public, and improvements in emergency medicine have all reduced the fatality of acute cardiac events.
So, What’s Killing Us Now?
Heart attacks may be less deadly than before, but other conditions have stepped into the spotlight. These include:
1. Cancer: The New Leading Cause
Across many developed and even some developing countries, cancer has quietly surpassed heart disease as the leading cause of death.
Why?
Aging population: Cancer incidence increases with age.
Environmental exposures: Pollution, pesticides, and chemicals.
Lifestyle: Obesity, poor diet, alcohol, and smoking still play roles.
Detection vs. Cure Gap: We are better at detecting cancer than curing it.
The Rise of “Modern Cancers”
Colorectal cancer in younger adults is rising.
Pancreatic cancer remains hard to detect and treat.
Liver cancer is growing due to obesity and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.
HPV-related cancers are climbing despite available vaccines.
2. Neurodegenerative Diseases: The Aging Brain’s Silent Fall
Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia are becoming dominant killers, especially in countries with older populations.
What’s fueling this?
Longer lifespans: People live long enough to experience brain decline.
Poor brain health: Lack of mental stimulation, sedentary lifestyles, and processed foods.
Environmental toxins and chronic stress are also implicated.
3. Drug Overdoses: The Opioid Crisis and Beyond
In some countries — especially the U.S. and Canada — drug overdoses now kill more people than car accidents, homicides, or even some cancers.
Key contributors:
Prescription opioids (like oxycodone, fentanyl)
Synthetic drugs flooding illegal markets
Mental health crisis, trauma, and economic despair
Lack of access to addiction treatment and harm-reduction services
This is especially devastating among people aged 18–45 — once thought to be the healthiest demographic.
4. Suicide and Mental Health Disorders
Rising suicide rates reflect a deeper crisis in mental health. Depression, anxiety, and isolation — particularly among youth and the elderly — are becoming deadly.
Why?
Digital isolation: More screen time, less human connection.
Economic pressures
Stigma around mental health remains.
Limited access to psychiatric care and therapy.
5. Liver Disease: The Hidden Epidemic
Liver disease, especially non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) and alcohol-related liver disease, is growing rapidly — often silently until too late.
Key drivers:
Obesity epidemic
High-sugar diets
Alcohol overuse, even at “social” levels
Viral hepatitis, especially in underserved populations
By the time symptoms emerge, the liver may already be severely damaged.
6. Diabetes and Metabolic Syndrome
While rarely listed as the direct cause of death, diabetes contributes to numerous fatal conditions, from kidney failure to stroke.
What’s fueling the surge?
Sedentary lifestyles
Processed food diets
Insulin resistance epidemic
Lack of early intervention
The Role of Lifestyle in New-Age Mortality
Many of today’s leading killers are not infectious — they’re chronic and often self-inflicted, tied to how we live.
1. The Processed Food Trap
Highly processed, low-nutrient foods are everywhere, loaded with:
Refined sugars
Trans fats
Artificial additives
These contribute to inflammation, metabolic disorders, and gut microbiome imbalances — a foundation for many modern diseases.
2. The Movement Crisis
The modern person sits for 9+ hours per day. This lack of movement is linked to:
Insulin resistance
Poor circulation
Mental decline
3. Sleep Deprivation
People sleep less than ever, thanks to:
Screen time
Shift work
Stress
Chronic sleep debt increases risks for diabetes, cancer, stroke, and mood disorders.
4. Loneliness and Social Disconnection
Loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to some studies. It’s linked to:
Higher mortality
Poorer immune function
Increased suicide and addiction risk
Environmental and Societal Contributors
It’s not just about personal habits. The world around us shapes our health in invisible ways.
1. Air Pollution
Smog and micro-particulates are linked to:
Cognitive decline
Even “safe” levels of pollution can have cumulative effects over time.
2. Climate Change
As the planet heats:
Infectious diseases (like dengue) spread to new areas
Heatwaves cause direct deaths and worsen chronic conditions
Air quality declines increase respiratory deaths
3. Economic Inequality
Poorer individuals have higher mortality rates due to:
Less access to health care
Poor nutrition
Higher stress
Unsafe housing
Health is deeply tied to income and environment.
The Rise of “Deaths of Despair”
Coined by economists Anne Case and Angus Deaton, “deaths of despair” include suicide, drug overdose, and alcohol-related liver disease. They’re rising among:
Middle-aged men in the U.S.
Economically marginalized populations
Youth affected by hopelessness
These deaths aren’t caused by bacteria or genes — they’re societal, fueled by disconnection, meaninglessness, and structural neglect.
The New Frontlines of Prevention
To reduce these modern causes of death, we need a new model of health — one that focuses not just on survival, but on thriving.
1. Mental Health as a Priority
We must:
Normalize therapy
Expand access to mental health care
Reduce stigma
Teach emotional regulation from a young age
2. Reimagining Food Systems
Solutions include:
Taxes on ultra-processed foods
Subsidies for whole, fresh foods
Food education in schools
Urban farming and local food initiatives
3. Making Movement a Default
Cities and communities should:
Encourage walking and cycling
Build green spaces
Integrate movement into school and work routines
4. Social Health
Fostering connection is just a
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Alone Together: Why Lonely People Might Be the Happiest of All
Introduction: Rethinking Loneliness
Loneliness is often painted in dark shades. In movies, books, and even casual conversations, the image of a lonely person conjures a sad, quiet figure—detached, misunderstood, and yearning for connection. But what if that story is incomplete? What if, in the quiet moments of solitude, there is joy, growth, and even deep fulfillment?
In a hyper-connected world that celebrates social status, online followers, and busy social calendars, choosing solitude—or even simply existing in it—can be seen as a weakness. Yet many "lonely" people are quietly discovering something profound: that solitude, when embraced, can be a powerful path to happiness. In fact, research, psychology, and lived experiences are challenging our assumptions, suggesting that lonely people—those who spend more time alone—might just be among the happiest.
The Loneliness Paradox
How can lonely people be happy? To answer this, we must first separate loneliness from solitude. Loneliness is the pain of feeling disconnected when we desire connection. Solitude, on the other hand, is the choice to be alone, and it can be nourishing, even joyful.
Interestingly, some people labeled as "lonely" are not socially isolated by force—they choose a quieter life. They are introspective, deeply self-aware, and often comfortable with their own company. For these individuals, solitude becomes a sanctuary, not a sentence. They are "alone together"—living among others, but anchored within themselves.
1. Emotional Clarity Through Solitude
People who spend time alone often develop a high degree of emotional fluency. Without the noise of constant interaction, they listen inward. They begin to recognize the texture of their emotions, the real roots of their moods, and their own patterns of thought.
This introspection fosters emotional intelligence, which is strongly linked to long-term happiness. Alone, people can process grief, celebrate small victories, heal wounds, and gain insight—all without the pressure of performance or pleasing others.
2. Freedom from Social Comparison
One of the biggest thieves of joy is comparison. In social circles, especially on social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring our worth against others’ curated lives. But people who spend more time alone often escape this trap.
They live on their own terms, guided by inner values rather than external validation. This freedom fosters authentic self-worth, which is far more stable than approval from peers. The result? A quieter, deeper form of contentment.
3. Creativity Flourishes in Isolation
Many of history’s most creative minds were known for their solitary habits—Emily Dickinson, Nikola Tesla, Virginia Woolf, Albert Einstein. They understood what science is now confirming: creativity thrives in silence.
Without the constant input of other voices, ideas are free to evolve. Alone time allows the brain to wander, daydream, and make unexpected connections. People who embrace solitude often find themselves more creative, innovative, and productive—not in spite of their aloneness, but because of it.
4. Stronger Boundaries, Healthier Relationships
Oddly enough, people who are comfortable being alone often have stronger, more fulfilling relationships when they do engage socially. Why?
Because they choose relationships deliberately. They’re not driven by fear of being alone, so they don’t tolerate toxic dynamics. Their relationships are based on genuine connection rather than dependency. Their solitude gives them clarity, allowing them to draw healthy boundaries and avoid people-pleasing patterns.
5. Reconnection with Nature and the Present
In solitude, many find a reconnection with the natural world and the present moment. Without distraction, they may notice the sound of birds, the rhythm of their breath, the feel of sunlight on their skin. These sensory details, often missed in the rush of life, bring a quiet kind of joy.
This mindfulness—a natural byproduct of solitude—is linked to reduced stress, better mental health, and increased overall happiness.
6. Loneliness as a Teacher
Even the ache of unwanted loneliness can become transformative. When we confront emptiness instead of running from it, we learn resilience. We discover what we need, what we long for, and what matters most.
Many people report that their most profound growth came not in crowded rooms, but in quiet nights alone—when they were forced to meet themselves fully, without distraction. Through the pain of loneliness, they found healing and depth.
7. The Rise of the “Quiet Life” Movement
A growing cultural shift supports the idea that loneliness doesn’t equal misery. The rise of “slow living,” minimalist lifestyles, solo travel, and digital detoxing all reflect a collective craving for space and silence.
Podcasts, books, and influencers now celebrate the beauty of saying no, setting boundaries, and living simply. What once looked like loneliness is now recognized as self-care and empowerment. Being alone is no longer seen as odd—it’s starting to look wise.
8. Social Connection, Reimagined
It’s worth noting that "lonely" people aren’t always disconnected from others—they simply value meaningful connection over constant connection. One deep, soulful conversation may matter more to them than a hundred shallow interactions.
Technology also allows many “lonely” individuals to maintain chosen connections on their own terms—without being overwhelmed by social obligations. In this way, modern solitude can still include community, just in more intentional doses.
9. Rewriting the Story of Aloneness
The old narrative paints lonely people as lacking—missing something vital. But perhaps it's the opposite. Perhaps they’ve found something most of us are too busy to see: the joy of their own company, the richness of self-exploration, and the calm that comes from within.
They are not lesser; they are deep dwellers—people who’ve chosen to live from the inside out.
10. Alone Doesn’t Mean Empty
We must stop equating solitude with sadness. In truth, many lonely people are full—of thought, dreams, creativity, wisdom. They may not be loud, but they are living vivid inner lives. They find adventure in books, beauty in stillness, and strength in their own silence.
In a culture that fears aloneness, these people remind us: it’s okay to be alone. In fact, it might just be the doorway to the deepest kind of happiness.
Final Thoughts: The Hidden Happiness of the Quiet Ones
Being alone doesn’t mean being unloved, unsuccessful, or unhappy. In fact, some of the happiest people are those who’ve made peace with solitude. They are not trying to escape the world but to understand it—and themselves—more deeply.
In the quiet spaces where others see emptiness, they see opportunity. Where others see boredom, they find beauty. In their solitude, they’ve built something many are still searching for: a deep, unshakable joy that doesn’t depend on anyone else.
So the next time you see someone sitting alone in a café, walking alone through a park, or living life on the quieter side, don’t assume they’re lonely in the painful sense. They might just be the happiest person in the room—alone together with the world, and perfectly content.
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Hi, I’m Salwa Ali, a Pakistani woman, writer, and emotional storyteller. I write about loneliness, healing, self-worth, and the quiet strength women carry in silence. Through my words, I want to reach others who’ve ever felt invisible, unheard, or emotionally overwhelmed. You’re not alone. I believe there’s power in sharing our stories—and healing in every honest sentence.
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By Rebekah Smith
I broke the chain—and it broke me open.
I left the place I was raised, the generational patterns I inherited, the expectations that never fit quite right. I longed for something different, something freer. I wanted space to breathe, to grow, to become. And I found it, in a way, out here in California. I built a life with more beauty, more choice, more authenticity than I was ever allowed back home. But I also found something else: guilt, grief, and a kind of loneliness that only comes when the price of freedom is disconnection.
When you’re the one who leaves, who changes, who says, This ends with me, you don’t just separate from dysfunction—you separate from the people still in it. The people you love.
I wonder sometimes if my family thinks I outgrew them. Maybe I did. Maybe I had to. But it’s painful to feel so far away from the people whose blood runs through me. To want connection with the same people who made me feel like I had to choose between belonging and being well.
Mental illness runs through my family like an underground river—visible only when the ground gives way. I’m not the only one struggling, but I’ve become the most obvious. Maybe because I talk about it. Maybe because I’ve tried to heal out loud. And in doing so, I’ve been made to feel like the sick one, the dramatic one, the problem—when all I’ve ever tried to be is the brave one.
I don’t know how to hold both truths: that I love my mother and that I cannot understand her silence after I told her I didn’t want to live anymore. I don’t believe she doesn’t care. But what else can I believe when my pain is met with silence?
She raised me to be better—or maybe I made myself better in spite of what I was given. I didn’t stay quiet about injustice. I didn’t excuse harmful men. I didn’t raise children in the same cycles. I didn’t find comfort in religion, and I didn’t vote the way she did. But I did find a deep love for humanity—especially for the misfits, the outsiders, the ones like me.
Maybe she thinks I’m judging her. Maybe I am. Maybe I just can’t understand how you can vote for someone who reminds you of your abuser. Maybe I’m tired of pretending that “family” should mean staying silent about harm.
Sometimes I think about the life I left behind—the mobile home, the quiet, the simplicity. I used to scoff at it, tell myself I’d never end up “knocked up or knocked out.” But I get it now. I get the appeal of a small life, a predictable life. Some days, the life I’ve built out here feels overwhelming. And sometimes, I wonder if I would’ve cracked sooner had I stayed.
If I’d had children, maybe this ache would make more sense. Maybe I’d see my own childhood through the lens of what I could give to someone else. Maybe I’d feel less like a daughter still waiting to be loved.
But I’m here. In therapy. Doing the work. Trying to give myself the love I needed then. Trying to parent the child inside me with softness, with care.
Life is hard—but it’s also fast. And so, I endure. I love myself. I value the peace and honesty I’ve fought for. I’ve built a life that reflects who I really am. And even with all the heartache, I’d do it again. I’d do it all over.
Because this ride—this messy, complicated, painful, beautiful ride—has been mine.
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