My Pain
It has set my life on fire, it has put a halt to my plans
Nothing is not excruciatingly painful
The fire, the lightning, the swelling
Pain
Showers feel as though I'm being electrocuted and burned alive with every drop of water
Sleep? My blanket touched me and I'm jolted awake
Pain
They say get outside, exercise, you'll feel better
Do they know how excruciating a breeze can be or the cold air? Do they know how exhausting getting dressed is? Do they understand?
Pain
Do they realize I have to choose between tasks including if I shower, what I eat, can I wash that pan? If I do this can I still get to that appointment? If I shower now can I sleep tonight?
Pain
A playful tap- touch the wrong spot
I'll scream
Pain
I have to try to live around it, live with it
I'm barely surviving
I'm masking the pain, putting a smile up for you
I'm giving you more energy than I truly have, I'm not lazy
I'm borrowing from tomorrow because I borrowed from today
Pain
Everyone else expects a smile and because they don't see it, I can do everything they can
Because they see my smile and not tears, I'm fine
They don't understand, they tell me to be happy to try this, do that, you had energy yesterday
It's exhausting
Someone even blamed me for my pain, said it was because I lived in sin by not believing what they believed or who they believed in... I was experiencing an example of the hell I'd face later if I didn't start believing and repent...
Pain
CRPS is my hell, CRPS reminds me I'm alive
But am I living?
Pain
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, not even for just a second so you'd understand
My pain