All these years and nothing really changes except the scenery. I'm exhausted. I'm alone. I have a new illness that doctors can't seem to diagnose but it has made it so I can't eat without being sick. I was managing until this started but after 3 months and no answers the depression is worse than its been in years. I'm not seeing the point in life anymore. I have no one. Life is simply surviving/existing and has been that way for most of my life. People say to hang on because it will get better. Will it? It has never been anything but pain and loneliness. I try so hard to find a reason to stay but I'm all out of fight. I find myself thinking a lot about the peace that can come with death. I love that idea. Peace would be so welcome. No more pain. No more fear. #Suicide #CPTSD #nomorehope