To the Baby Joining Our Special Needs Family

Dear P (you have a name, but we want to save the surprise until your birthday),

Right now, you are comfy in Mom’s belly, and we have to wait another 10-ish weeks to meet you face-to-face. We can’t wait to get to know you and find out who you are, but we kind of feel like we know a lot about you already. We know you are a big blessing to our family, and we know you are the missing piece that will complete our family of four. We know you are growing huge, and we know that so far, you are healthy as a horse. You already seem like a calm and gentle baby, as you don’t seem to do nearly the thrashing and tumbling in the belly that your brother Luca did. That’s another thing: we know you have a brother and that you two are going to be a big part of each others’ lives. I have a feeling that you and Luca have already met each other and have maybe even played together. But there are some things we want you to know about him before you get here.

Our little Luca boy has been the center of our family since the day he was born. His birth has shaped the lives of everyone in our little family, including yours. Thinking about the future can be hard and scary, but we think about Luca’s future and your future a lot. You might be someone who helps comfort, teach, and guide your big brother. You might be someone whose wants and needs sometimes takes a backseat to Luca’s, and it might be really tricky. You might be someone who stands up for Luca if others tease him for his differences, and you might be someone who helps cheer him up if he is feeling lonely or sad. You might see your mom and dad feeling stressed or having looks of worry streaked across their faces, and you might know it is because they are worried about Luca. You might sometimes feel like the whole entire world revolves around Luca, and you might wonder how you fit in.

We want you to know that you are more than just Luca’s sister, that you are you and that your life matters just as much. We want you to know that it is you and Luca both who make us whole.

We know that you may not notice right away that Luca is any different than you or other kids. This is something that we hope will last forever, that you will always know and believe that Luca and others like him deserve to be respected, dignified, and accepted into our lives and community without exception. We hope that you will take on the role of Luca’s sister, friend, and advocate, and we hope you will see the importance of that role. We also believe that you will be a million other things than just Luca’s sister, friend, and advocate. You will be anything and everything you could ever dream of.

The future is so full of hope and possibility for both you and Luca. We know it won’t always be easy, but we believe deep in our hearts that you are meant to join our family and that you will make all of our lives infinitely more rich.

Please keep growing and staying healthy where you are now, but know that we are eagerly awaiting your arrival. We already love you more than words can express, and we cannot wait to see what life has in store for the four of us.

We love you.

Love,
Mom and Dad

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