I Was Raped by My Best Friend

Editor’s Note: If you’ve experienced sexual abuse or assault, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.

If I had only known then that your best friend can rape you, I wouldn’t have questioned why I couldn’t move, why I couldn’t think, why I couldn’t remember. My rapist wasn’t some stranger outside in the middle of the night. We weren’t drinking, he didn’t have a weapon on him. If only I knew that a friend could be a rapist.

• What is PTSD?

I can’t imagine what it’s like to deal with life after being raped by a stranger because I’ve never gone through that. But I do know what it’s like to avoid everyone you love for two full years because someone you loved was the one who destroyed you.

I know what it’s like to lose all faith in yourself because the ones you trust don’t see what you see.

I know what it’s like to look back on years worth of happy memories and miss them and wish it hadn’t happened.

I know what it’s like to make sense of your life half a decade after it ended and realize you have very little that is real to look back on.

It’s not just the stranger in the alleyway. It’s not only drunk assaults. These things are horrible, and I can’t imagine going through it. For those who have, you have every right to talk about it, and I hope you do.

But what you may not know is most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.

As an ally, if you don’t acknowledge the reality that best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, roommates, etc. can be rapists, then you’re not with me. You’re not fighting my battle. And you’re actually playing a crucial role in silencing me and other survivors more by further perpetuating the comforting belief that people only get raped by strangers.

If you or a loved one is affected by sexual abuse or assault and need help, call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

Thinkstock photo via Grandfailure