I Had to Fight to Get My Abuser Out of My Classes

I, like many others, know my rapist. We saw each other almost every day of the week because of our school and church.

• What is PTSD?

We dated for almost a year and in that time, he repeatedly assaulted and mentally abused me. We only had one class together when I ended our relationship, and I was removed from that class. At the time I was OK with it, but honestly, I just wanted to stay with my friends. I thought the worst was over now that I would only have to see him a few times in the hallway and at church. I had finally gotten used to just seeing him around, and figuring out a new route to my classes wasn’t too difficult.

About a month before school was out for the year, after everything was reported to child protective services and the police, he was moved into three of my classes so he could go home early. I still remember the first day he walked into my English class. I thought he was just hanging out (it was that kind of class), but then he was in my next class. I overheard him explain his new class schedule. Three of my classes in a row.

I was shocked, confused, angry and most of all I felt so unsafe. I remember going to my school counselor and trying to figure out a solution. I started taking my tests in the hallways because it was easier to focus when I didn’t feel like I had to look over my shoulder constantly. My grades went down more and I seriously thought about just leaving high school again for good. Then I learned about Title IX through internet sources, and starting reading more about my right to equal participation in school. When I brought it up to my school counselor, we figured out a way for me to leave my classes and go to work or home when I needed to.

I shouldn’t have had to do that. I got in touch with a local organization that helps survivors of violence, and with their help I was able to help educate my school. My abuser no longer attends my school and isn’t allowed on campus, which is completely legal and should be an option for more survivors. The staff at my school even got a Title IX training and now work closely with this organization.

My junior year was hell, and I would never wish that on anyone. I had to see the person who hurt me for months in a place that was obligated to protect me. Now, no other student will have to face this without the protection of Title IX at my school, and for that I will always be thankful. We need more awareness and enforcement of Title IX in elementary, middle and high schools. Schools need to know their and their students’ rights. We should be taught what our rights are. I have only ever seen college websites with a Title IX summary and even a reporting tab online, so why don’t primary and secondary schools have that as well? Sexual assault is happening in schools, on the buses, in the classrooms and lunchrooms. It’s happening, and we can’t keep turning our cheeks. We need our schools to protect us.