How to Cope When the Death of a Loved One Triggers a Flare-Up

Saying goodbye to a parent is one of the hardest things we face in our lives. It is also something that almost everyone goes through.

My father passed away recently from a short fight with cancer. After the death of someone you love, you experience bereavement, which literally means “to be deprived by death.”

Whether the passing of a loved one was expected or out of the blue, the initial stage is often numbness. Some emotions you may face include:

• Denial
• Depression
• Confusion
• Yearning
• Anger
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Sadness

Coping with the death is vital to your health; if you are like me, I get a severe flare. There are many ways to cope effectively with your pain to help limit the flares.

Seek out caring people. Find relatives and friends who can understand your feelings of loss. Join support groups with others who are experiencing similar losses.

Express your feelings. Tell others how you are feeling; it will help you to work through the grieving process.

Take care of your health. Maintain regular contact with your family physician and be sure to eat well and get plenty of rest.

Accept that life is for the living. It takes effort to begin to live again in the present and not dwell on the past.

Postpone major life changes. Try to hold off on making any major changes, you should give yourself time to adjust to your loss.

Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.

Seek outside help when necessary. If your grief seems like it is too much to bear, seek professional assistance to help work through your grief. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek help.