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4 Tips to Navigate Social Media as a NICU Mom

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As a journalist, sharing aspects of my life on social media — personal and professional — almost comes as second nature.

So it was only natural for me to take countless photos and videos of my 29-week-old preemie twins, Nikoh and Noah, during their NICU stay. I wanted to document every ounce they gained, every tube being removed, every tiny stride they achieved. I did not want to forget one second of their early NICU life. Yet, I only shared a handful of social media posts while my preemies were growing in the NICU, and most of them were vague, only showing the side-views of their faces, their tiny hands, little feet and the identification tags they wore around their itty-bitty ankles.

I never knew if I was sharing too much or not enough. I knew my family and friends really wanted to see my brand new babies, but it was an emotionally confusing time for me to navigate social media, a platform that I had always been very comfortable using. I can’t tell you how many times I uploaded a photo and wrote a caption, only to delete it.

But what I learned in retrospect is there’s no right or wrong way to share your NICU/preemie story on social media. Follow your heart, your innate mama instinct and let your preemie(s) be your guide.

1. The one question I always asked myself before posting an online image of my preemies, or before blogging about them, was, “when they grow up, will they be upset with me for this post?”

As their mother, it is my job to respect the privacy of my babies, especially at their most vulnerable moments. I was never comfortable showing any invasive photos of procedures, surgeries, etc. If it’s an image you think your preemie might not appreciate when they’re older, maybe it’s better to keep it offline.

2. Post at your own pace and pick your privacy.  

Some days you may want to post multiple photos of your precious preemie, or maybe you don’t want to post any. My suggestion is to do what you want, it’s your social media account. Plus everyone loves to see and swoon over photos of babies! And if you tend to keep your social media profile public, you may consider changing your settings to private to protect the images of your preemies from being stolen and circulated online without your consent.

3. Feel free to ask for prayers/encouragement.

Social media was a great way for me to ask for prayers during our NICU stay, which was the hardest time of my life. When I felt sad, emotionally drained, upset, unmotivated, I knew I could post an inspirational message and ask for prayers in return. Often within minutes of a post, I had a lot of family and friends responding with love, support and prayers to help lift my spirits when I needed it most. Remember no matter age, religion or race, most people are willing to send a prayer or encouragement to a preemie baby and their worried mama.

4. Safeguard your NICU images.

Remember all of those photos and videos I took of my preemies? One morning, a week after my preemies were born, I dropped my cell phone in the toilet as I rushed to get back to the NICU. I can’t even begin to describe the heartbreak I felt, and still feel today, when I think of all of those first moments I lost. I am grateful I texted some of those early photos to my family members immediately after taking them, so I was able to recover some of them that way. Be sure to save your photos on your computers, print them out, text them to your family, upload them to social media, so they won’t ever be lost for good like mine were. I know that safeguarding photos might not be on your priority list as a new preemie mom, but take it from me, it’s important when you want to see images of their first days of life.

Follow this journey at reportertotwinmom.com.

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Originally published: March 22, 2017
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