projection

I'm a classical musician, I've produced over 30 CDs, I'm an incredible teacher, yet I've been struggling because of early childhood developmental trauma, which was just made worse by the pandemic

And I am consequently living in a roommate situation with an alcoholic abusive roommate, who has just thrown the "well, all your problem is that you have fear of success"

I find that such an easy copout, and perhaps it's true for some, but as Carrie Bradshaw would write in sex in the city,

"when is being told that 'your problem is that you're afraid of success is someone else's neurotic projection? maybe they're afraid of success, but it's just such an easy thing to say, and it's dismissive and frankly sort of a snarky thing to say to someone who actually has had some success and enjoys it?"

I don't like as well as her writers did, but has anyone else that out there have you been told that, "well your problem is that you have your successor, so you sabotage your self" despite the fact that in fact you've had successes, but due to other reasons for struggles of life such as developmental trauma, or really lousy support systems, or just plain jerks, there's been struggles. And it's just such an easy dismissive and incredibly insensitive obnoxious thing for other people to say.

Being such a clichéd, easy thing for people to say, it seems to really be an all too easy copout, Maybe for some, it's really a dismissive discount of the one who is being told that "well this is your problem, you're afraid of success"

I sort of wanna scream that this person that her really dismissive pop psychology is insensitive and accurate. And it's probably projection that she is the one who is suffering from fear of success. As a result of her childhood and adult abuses. But it is not my diagnosis! Its just such a cliché! Projection, much?

Anyone else have that experience?

Any suggestions on how did you deal with when someone pulls this dismissive discounting card out of their back pocket?

Eric Berne, who invented Transactional Analysis (TA) would quickly point out they're just playing a really insensitive psychological game of "well, I'm only trying to help you", and" if you listen to me, you'll see I'm right and you just can't see this," so, what you need to do is X, Y, and Z……(but don't you dare say that I am projecting my fear of success on to you!)"

#fearofsuccess
#fearofsuccessmyth
#DismissiveDiagnosis
#projection
#Discounting

It’s exhausting to have to make everyone else feel comfortable about my depression…. I understand it’s because they don’t understand that the choice to be happy is a lot harder for me than it would be for them.

Today my boss confronted me about how I show up in the office, that I make everyone else uncomfortable and that they don’t want to be around me. But I really don’t do anything intentionally to anyone. Some days I’m just trying to not escape myself. Most days I’m coasting.

To me it feels too much like “kissing ass” when I’m not allowed the space to show up authentically. Im not seeking validation but I would like acceptance and understanding that it’s nothing personal. I hate having to explain myself, ESPECIALLY when the explanation isn’t validated bc it doesn’t “makes sense” to them.

Why do I have to accommodate them? It seems unfair bc all emotions are valid not just the positive ones.

When I interviewed for the job I was in a better headspace so I didn’t account for this depressive episode I’m experiencing. Idk…

#Depression #Burnout #sprialing #projection #SocialAnxiety