ptsdsymptoms

#ptsdsymptoms
I'm feeling panicky and scared constantly at work and on the buses even my chest will beat fast sometimes and I'm already feeling tired eventhough I've been here since 11am.

It was Thursday morning, around 9am. I was eating breakfast, and my granddad was outside.
I can’t stop seeing him walking in to tell me he broke his shoulder. I was right there. I felt this overwhelming sense that something was wrong, but I ignored it for a few moments. He was standing there so confused.
I know that I couldn’t have known, but it has unsettled me to my very core.
He is and will be alright. He’s being discharged tomorrow. It was just so scary, I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t help. He looked so fragile and pale.
My dogs help, but they stay at home.

Any suggestions?

I was feeling very depressed and overwhelmed and extremely self-critical today. I went to work, but I got maybe 1 hour worth of work done and I was on the verge of tears all the way from the minute I walked in the door to the minute I left. I’m afraid to take a mental health day because I’ve already taken a lot of time off and I don’t want to make a bad impression and lose what little I have left of my career. I tried to do some self care, which consisted of a walk by the river and overindulgence in food and drink. I felt guilty because taking that time for myself because that meant that my wife had to watch our daughter, even though she is sick and is having a hard time at work herself. My depression and anxiety seem to be flaring up lately and I don’t really know why. I have appointments scheduled with my therapist and my psychiatrist, and the appointments can’t come soon enough. Can anyone relate? Any virtual hugs or insights or words of support are welcome.

The thought that I spent so much time writing and that took me so much courage to write wouldn’t post, probably because it was too long. If The Mighty can’t help me, maybe I really am beyond help. Rewriting my thought would involve reliving trauma, so I don’t want to do it right now. Will I ever really be good enough for anyone? Am I a less worthy, credible or remarkable person because I’m not as successful in my career as my wife or my family or my friends are in theirs? Do I really have any reason at all to feel proud of myself? Can someone offer some words of support or a hug or something? #ithMe #Depres #on #Anxiet #ADHD #ssiv #uicidalIdeation #ptsdsy #ptsdsymptoms