Suicidal Thoughts

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    dealing with health and relationships after child loss

    I released a book on 1/31/2023, about every mental and emotional health issue I went through during my son's life until he died at 10 weeks after being born prematurely. 2/2/2023 will make 14 years since he passed, and it has taken those 14 years to heal. #Grief #Loss #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth #release #Healing

    5 reactions 1 comment
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    Thank you to all that commented and reacted to my post

    A few days ago I was once more in a very dark place a second away of ending it all. I needed to do something and I decided to post here. I don't think I got better, but I'm still here. The ammount of people that reached out, related and shared their stories too and wished for me to just hold on really touched me. It's hard to answer to all but I just really wanted to say thank you.
    We are all strugling and I really appreciate that despite that, you guys take the time to share and to care for a complete stranger the best say you can.

    #Depression #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #CPTSD

    22 reactions 3 comments
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    Harder and harder to hold on

    Yesterday, I showered for the first time in a week after spending the entire time in bed. I missed an exam because I simply could not bring myself to go, and also, have not been able to study. Today after not sleeping the entire night, I decided I would go grocery shop and put my sheets to wash so that I would not be able to lay again. I did something nice for myself while I was out and bought myself a floser bouquet.
    But by the time I got home, I was exhausted. I only put stuff in the fridge and left everything else in the bags on the floor and went to sleep.
    Now I lay here convincing myself to stay alive. To think about how it could impact the people left behinf. But it's hard, 'cause, as aweful as it sound, what will I care after since I will already be sweet nothingness. It's just getting harder and harder and I just really can't do life.
    #Depression #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #CPTSD

    247 reactions 62 comments
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    Working on this motto!

    Moving forward doesn't mean you have to push yourself to do anything you're not ready for, it just means that you aim for a forward approach.
    It doesn't matter if you move slow so long as you keep moving.
    Just like how all little ones learn how to walk, one step at a time, we too must take that approach sometimes-especially when life gets complicated or extra hard.

    You Are doing a Great job! 👍 Keep moving forward ❤️
    Deep breathes, You CAN Do This!!

    #AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #Grief #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #PTSD #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #Migraine #bedbound #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome

    40 reactions 7 comments
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    We were suppose to get a new pup tomorrow but the seller put it on pause since her sister died last month.

    She decided to wait four days until she would reschedule again.
    I had previously taken off two weeks so that I could spend them with the new puppy instead of worrying about appointments and leaving her home alone. So I told my parents that I was going to cancel my psych appointment. And then my mom turns around and says that if I cancel the psych appointment that I'm not getting a dog. Please someone verify that my feelings that this is a huge breach of trust is legitimate.

    It has taken me 10 years to be fully ready to go to a psychiatrist where I would commit to fully telling them everything and not holding back. And now with my mom forcing me it creates all sorts of problems. How can I ever trust them again? How can I trust them that if I really want something they're not going to use it to get what they want to? And then they say that they're doing this out of love because they want what's best for me! And now my anxiety which was stirred up because of the adoption being put on hold is now in a huge frenzy even though they said that they are trying to make it better and it's all for me.

    I hate when the people you most count on turn around and use everything to get you to do what they want.

    #AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #MightyPets #MemoryLoss #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #PTSD #Migraine #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts

    63 reactions 12 comments
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    What is body dysmorphia?

    #BodyDysmorphicDisorder

    Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), occasionally still called dysmorphophobia, is a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it. In BDD's delusional variant, the flaw is imagined. If the flaw is actual, its importance is severely exaggerated.

    Either way, thoughts about it are pervasive and intrusive, and may occupy several hours a day, causing severe distress and impairing one's otherwise normal activities. BDD is classified as a somatoform disorder, and the DSM-5 categorizes BDD in the obsessive–compulsive spectrum, and distinguishes it from anorexia nervosa.

    BDD is estimated to affect from 0.7% to 2.4% of the population. It usually starts during adolescence and affects both men and women. The BDD subtype muscle dysmorphia, perceiving the body as too small, affects mostly males. Besides thinking about it, one repetitively checks and compares the perceived flaw, and can adopt unusual routines to avoid social contact that exposes it.

    Fearing the stigma of vanity, one usually hides the preoccupation. Commonly unsuspected even by psychiatrists, BDD has been underdiagnosed. Severely impairing quality of life via educational and occupational dysfunction and social isolation, BDD has high rates of suicidal thoughts and attempts at suicide.

    You can refer to this:

    resiliens.com/resilify/program/dealing-with-body-dysmorphia

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    ❤️❤️❤️ I always have had bad health and painful things added but never solved and taken away.

    But I find rest-Peace- in Christ. He never turns me away and always knows everything about me and my struggles in exactly that moment. He won't make us fight on alone without some relief. Even if that relief is like mine and never takes away the problem. But He Always gives me strength and endurance to carry one.

    #AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #bedbound #Disability #Endometriosis #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #longcovid #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #Migraine #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts

    27 reactions 4 comments