Suicidal Thoughts

There is sometimes extreme abuse in my house and then I think that suicide is the only answer for I have given all of myself my whole life, there is no other way, and when love ceases there is no other option, as I don't wish to hurt anyone as deeply as I have been hurt ever again, or be alone wandering and travelling ever again, so I nurse on and get abused on, and sometimes every way I ever had of reaching out or contacting anyone is taken from me, or calling for help for that matter, I'm ok when I sleep if not being screamed at or asked for sex when I'm weak from meds, but hey that's my life, once had a celtic dream once, never getting that back, husband you have won in every way that was ever possible, when is suicide murder?

So I went to Golden Corral and now I regret going. I feel like death right now. Everything just hurts, I'm nauseous, my head hurts, and I argh. I'm back where I was yesterday. #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #ChronicPain #ChronicDepression #CPTSD #Advice

Hi, my name is mmrave. I'm here because I have chronic illnesses and I am trying to get by.

#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #Migraine #PTSD #EatingDisorder #ADHD #Grief #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Scoliosis #PolycysticOvarySyndromePCOS #PosturalTremor #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome

Hi. I have no friends and my family really hates me. I deal with countless unbearable illnesses and already want to die. Knowing that no one will cry if I do, and the people I know will only be happy if I did is an unbearable feeling sometimes. I literally have no one. Not a single person would cry if I died. I already suffer from suicidal thoughts and knowing that literally no one would care I did it is a horrific feeling.
If your in the same boat, do you have any tips on how to deal with this feeling?
#Depression #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Undiagnosed #OCD #Spoonie #Anxiety

I went to the ER last Friday. I fainted twice Thursday night, probably hit my head on the heater and it was also vinyl hardwood. Roommate said the fridge was pulled out, I was trying to get a drink. When I sat up, the trash can was pushed back a couple feet. The ER did a CT scan, it was clean. All tests were. I got Tylenol and an Ativan because I was scared with the CT scan and hospitals are extremely triggering. They did prescribe anything. They did not look at that back of my head even though it hurt like hell. They didn't even check my eyes. The headache only let up yesterday. I know this may be POTS or something. They want me to wear a heart monitor as well.
Monday, the doctors appointment was telehealth and I don't drive and the local disability bus is having more delays and with how sick I've been it's impossible. She refused to listen tho. She refused to listen about what wasn't working. She told me to go back to the ED. I said something similar to this: I seriously was debating ending my life due to pain and the treatment I've been receiving. Got cut off here and was told: are you threatening suicide? I will call the cops.
I said no. I'm safe. I have a lot of things going on. She also didn't mention any of the ED notes or anything I told the nurse, the appointment was about 5min.
My psychiatrists medical assistant was confused as to how that was a threat. I also fired my counselor yesterday due to him on Monday flat out ignoring a trigger then saying he only does 12 sessions but gave me more. Sunday had stuff happen too but I don't want to get into it.
It's been trainwreck after trainwreck going on two weeks now. Mom, dad and brother also have covid. I don't live with them or am near them.
#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #MajorDepression #ChronicAnxiety #CPTSD #Autism #ChronicPain #help #PanicDisorder #MedicalTrauma