Why I'm Proud of My Grey Hairs As the Parent of a Rare Child

It’s been five months into the WAGR journey and the wear is starting to show as I look into the mirror, noticing all the shiny silver specks that have appeared on my head. I just smile and feel a sense of pride for all of them, because I know every single one of them has been earned.

I remember the moment at the hospital when my heart actually stopped and split in two as I was told something was wrong with my newborn child. The three weeks I sat waiting for the test results that caused endless hours of crying and praying, until the exhaustion consumed me. The guilt that has been felt after I questioned my faith. The panic that set in while sitting in the room waiting for the test results that would ultimately confirm my worst fears. The doctor calmly reading the results of WAGR syndrome as I sat there unable to breathe, with tears pouring down my face. The moment I had to tell my older son that his brother would face many medical challenges in life. The feeling of failure every time I looked into my husband’s eyes. The knots that my stomach creates at every doctor visit.

Each new strand of hair that shines its silvery glow has definitely been earned, and is my reminder of what I have experienced in such a short time. I am proud because I am still standing here, with only the occasional need to lean on others. I am proud I have been chosen to mother such amazing boys. I know this journey will have many more ups and downs, and that this is just the beginning. Every grey strand is a reminder of how hard the times have been, but amongst the grey there still are so many full of color, reminding me the good outweighs the bad. For this, I am blessed.

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Getty Images photo via Any_Li