Released

was excited to watch the new show, Fantasy Island. DaPlane! DaPlane! Fast forward 30 minutes and a man is on a rotisserie being roasted over an open flame on the island. Wtf people? Over over overrrr done. Where has the innocence gone? this is horrific tv and the traumatization comes around every corner. I wish the world were much different, disappointed in humanity and wish the exposure and overstimulated world would slow tf down and get back to days where some innocence remained. World Gone Mad. #Released #triggered #Idgaf

it takes so little to trigger the tears. Tears for Fears. Can’t stop crying, the sadness came. Probably stems directly to my survival issues, or fearing the uprooting of my very basic 4squares. And it’s all happening at same time. These fragile constructs of relying on public resources for my very survival- it makes me feel many different ways. Not safe. And, therefore, sad af.
I feel a teensy bit better just sharing, there is so much healing right here, TheMighty #Released tears stopped now, thank you.

still stuck in yesterday’s junque, now it’s all starting to run together. Can’t even hashtag my experience because I believe it was an adult ADHD post earlier that sent me looking up emotional regulation leading me to a complete data dump on EBT and the need to rewrite my survival brain circuits. I am a fixer - fix me NOW. My brain is now on overtime, I had to walk away from machine. Now just recovering from returning the call to my one friend and she knows I’m not wanting to be bubbly for her so she goes right into tryna fix me. Misunderstood. The last thing I need is to hear that all she hears when she “reads” me is the message: “I AM NEEDY” and that to me sounds like survival. Mehhhh. Trapped in now more spin-cycles but I will wake up on a fresh morning one day soon and re-tackle that EBT data dump and devise my healing plan. #ADHD #CPTSD #Released

meet Overwhelma. That’s my LEGO feeling rn. It’s payday and getting paid once a month has its challenges. Trying to get out of the anxiety trap that builds before payday comes, the overwhelm of spreading the thin layer across so many days, the stress of spending each and every dollar on the right stuff. Wheww. All that and back before noon, not to be seen again until the 3rd of next month. A prison of my own kind when really I am grateful, soooooo grateful for having all my needs met, and then some. I am too hard on myself and just need to be more mindful while being a smart shopper. #Released #MoneyMonkey