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Why I Wish I Could Go Back to the Day I Met My Mental Illness

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Dear Schizoaffective Disorder,

I would like to go back to the day I met you, or maybe instead, back to the day 11 years ago, when I finally knew your name.

I would like to find greater strength in that day. I would like for someone to have been there who didn’t just blow right past the subject when I talked about you. I wish someone would have said, “I know schizoaffective, and you can overcome him.”

I wish there had been more focus on behavioral therapy and psychotherapy, and less on such large amounts of medication. Yet if I could go back, I would never change you. You have put me many places I never wanted to be and almost taken my life several times, but there are reasons that I embrace you.

mary mahorney the mighty

You have made me learn the true meaning of strength and that even if no one seems to be around, I believe that God is there. I have become ever closer to my Maker, and I have learned that I can make a difference in the way people view mental illness.

I am thankful for you, because through you, I have found the true me. A loving person who loves God and people. A person who is not judgemental, and is, more than anything, someone who overcomes.

A stronger me

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Originally published: March 24, 2015
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