Hello. Thanks for reaching out to me. I appreciate it. If I’m being honest I’m not doing that great. I am really struggling with dissociation, self injury and thoughts about suicide. I have bipolar I and I must be stuck in a depressive episode to be having these thoughts, but I don’t feel depressed. I feel agitated and irritated, like attacking myself and smashing things. I feel like crying and laughing throwing my phone. (I, of course am not doing those things, deciding rather, to maintain self control.) I feel like a drawing by a three year old. I feel like a three year old. I feel out of control even though my outward appearance and behavior appears calm. I hate having to sit with these feelings until they pass. I’m just trying not to make things worse. Anywho. Things will get better. Nothing is permanent… thanks for listening. #BipolarI #CPTSD #Emotionaldisregulation #selfhelpnotselfharm #nonattachment #nonpermanence #fromamountainofdispaircomesastoneofhope

(A drawing that I did that represents my current reality)