It’s exhausting to have to make everyone else feel comfortable about my depression…. I understand it’s because they don’t understand that the choice to be happy is a lot harder for me than it would be for them.

Today my boss confronted me about how I show up in the office, that I make everyone else uncomfortable and that they don’t want to be around me. But I really don’t do anything intentionally to anyone. Some days I’m just trying to not escape myself. Most days I’m coasting.

To me it feels too much like “kissing ass” when I’m not allowed the space to show up authentically. Im not seeking validation but I would like acceptance and understanding that it’s nothing personal. I hate having to explain myself, ESPECIALLY when the explanation isn’t validated bc it doesn’t “makes sense” to them.

Why do I have to accommodate them? It seems unfair bc all emotions are valid not just the positive ones.

When I interviewed for the job I was in a better headspace so I didn’t account for this depressive episode I’m experiencing. Idk…

#Depression #Burnout #sprialing #projection #SocialAnxiety