I want.

I want someone to want to be there for me.
I want to have a ‘me’ like everyone else does.
I want someone to drop everything and help me too.
I want actual genuine fun.
I want to know someone’s gonna pick up my pieces when I fall apart.
I want to not always have to be the strong one, that’s usually right in the end.
I want real friends.
I want to feel like I have control in my life.
I want to not feel so alone all the time.
I want to be able to explain my feelings when they need to be heard.
I want treated more as an equal.
I want more than ‘just family.’
I want to not always want to cry.
I want a full circle, not a dotted line.
I want to not hurt.
I want to not be ignored and treated as a convenience.
I want more choices.
I want to be made to laugh more often.
I want to not push people away.
I want to not always have to have a back-up plan.
I want someone to make my struggles theirs and see them through my eyes.
I want other’s honesty and opinions.
I want randomness.
I want to be wrong once in a while.
I want to better myself.
I want to not feel like I’m complaining when I talk about myself.
I want to not be tired all of the time.
I want to be someone’s first choice.
I want everything. to be okay, and not just hope it will be.
I want someone to call me first.
I want to be okay in my own head.
I want to not be pushed away by everyone .
I want to just go for a drive to no apparent place .
I want to not be labeled.
I want to not have to be medicated.
I want nice long hugs.
I want to be shown I’m wanted.
I want to not fall into random depression.
I want someone to tell me what I’m supposed to do.
I want to not give up on myself.
I want closeness.
I want the good to rush over me like the bad ones so often do.
I want someone to give me simple joys, and enjoy them with me.
I want who I used to be.
I want to feel important to anyone at all.
I want certainty.
I want someone to ask how I’m doing and truly want to hear the answer.
I want good sex.
I want to take long walks, not alone.
I want spontainity.
I want to not think so much, so often.
I want my kids to be included and wanted, not treated as obligations.
I want to take silly pictures.
I want to not feel like such a burden when I do ask for help.
I want coffee dates.
I want to not create so many problems that will never exist.
I want to not feel like I’m a chore to be around.
I want to actually be with friends that want me around.
I want to be calm.
I want things to be simpler.
I want to be happy.
I want to remember.
I want to forget.

Maybe I want too much....

#IWriteMyFeelings #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Anxiety #ItsBeenALongRoad #oldwritings #stillfeeelthisway #relatable