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A Letter to My Daughter, the Sibling of a 'Miracle Child'

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It’s 5:00 a.m. and quiet. I’m lying in the dark with my 2-month-old daughter attached to my breast, while her 2-year-old brother snores away in a play pen. It’s time to wake him up. He sleeps much better in hotels than I can.


I look at my daughter. At only 2 months old, I will have to leave her for the day to give full support to her brother. He is going through an MRI because of a stroke he suffered at 5 days of life. This is just the beginning of a journey for her, so I wrote her this letter.

Dear baby girl,

It hurts for me to leave you now. I know you don’t understand, but this will be reality for you. And I’m so sorry sweetheart.

I’m sorry I have to focus my attention on your brother when you need me. I’m sorry your life will often be in the shadow of his struggles. I’m sorry whenever you reach a milestone it will be bittersweet as I remember the sadness of waiting for your brother to reach each one. I’m even sorry your picture never gets as many likes on Facebook as your brother’s, because you’re not the “miracle child.”

But I’m not sorry you will be so strong, baby. I’m not sorry I get to hold you in happy contentment instead of clinging to you with tears of either sadness or overwhelming relief as I often did with your brother.

I’m not sorry because I’m amazed by you, by how strong you already are and how strong you will be.

I know there will be times when you hate it and everything will seem unfair, but you will be amazing and compassionate because of it, baby. I promise.


I promise to be there for you, I promise to revel in your successes and to always love you unconditionally.

Love always,

your mama

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Originally published: June 25, 2015
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